Mindfully Moody | Highest Self, Manifestation, Dating Advice & Feminine Energy
Welcome to Mindfully Moody, a transformative space where self-discovery, spiritual exploration, and personal growth come together. We, Hannah Andersen and Sara Swanson, are best friends navigating our spiritual journeys and authentically sharing our experiences along the way. Our podcast was born from our shared love of life’s flow—the highs, the lows, and the magic found in between. We’re here to inspire you to live a more conscious, fulfilled, and aligned life.
Podcast Topics we cover:
How to become your highest self
How to live an aligned life
How to date intentionally
How to quit your job
Spiritual Awakening
How to be in your feminine energy
How to manifest
At Mindfully Moody, we dive deep into powerful topics like self-love, healing past wounds, and embracing your true, authentic self. We explore all things spirituality, from manifestation to energy work, and how to tap into your divine feminine energy for a more balanced life. Each episode is crafted to provide real-life stories and tools that resonate with our listeners, designed to help you in your journey to self-growth and empowerment.
We explore how to create meaningful relationships, from dating and romantic connections to friendships that nourish your soul. Whether you're single, dating, or in a long-term partnership, our discussions on relationships focus on aligning your values, discovering true freedom within yourself, and finding love that supports your highest self. We know from experience that dating can be challenging in today’s world, but it can also be a powerful tool for growth and self-discovery. Join us as we talk about navigating the complexities of modern dating, learning to listen to your intuition, and finding a relationship that truly aligns with your life’s purpose.
Living an aligned life means finding true freedom within yourself and embracing the things that bring you the most joy, peace, and fulfillment. We share stories of how we broke free from limiting beliefs, self-doubt, and toxic relationships, and found freedom in building the life we desire. You’ll hear our personal transformations, from overcoming childhood trauma and navigating divorce to creating thriving businesses aligned with our passions.
We also dive into mindfulness practices that guide us in living fully in the present moment, helping you create a life that feels authentic to your soul. Topics like mindfulness, meditation, journaling, and breathwork offer powerful tools for healing and reconnecting with your inner wisdom. These practices are key to creating emotional resilience and aligning with your true desires.
If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed by the pressures of life, career, and relationships, this podcast is your guide to realigning with your purpose and reclaiming your power. We explore ways to overcome burnout, manage stress, and achieve harmony between your personal and professional life. For the female entrepreneurs and creatives, we offer insights into balancing your masculine and feminine energy so you can achieve success without sacrificing your well-being.
Our episodes are infused with practical advice and tangible action steps, helping you make small shifts that lead to big changes in your life. We’re here to support you in your journey of personal transformation, offering our experiences as a roadmap for you to live a life that is more intentional, fulfilled, and joyful.
We release new episodes every Monday morning, so start your week with us as we dive into the soul-nourishing work of self-discovery, love, and transformation.
With light and love,
Hannah & Sara
Mindfully Moody | Highest Self, Manifestation, Dating Advice & Feminine Energy
151: Overcoming the Fear of Disappointing Others: Embracing Authenticity and Self-Worth
What if the fear of letting others down is the very thing holding you back from living your most authentic life? Join us on Mindfully Moody as we unravel the complex web of emotions tied to the fear of disappointing others. Through a heartfelt personal story about a camping trip, we illustrate the struggle between personal needs and the desire for external validation. Discover how openly communicating your needs, much like asking to leave early for the sake of rest, can foster understanding and supportive relationships. It's all about reclaiming your personal power and valuing self-worth, once you realize that your voice matters more than the approval of others.
Explore the roots of this pervasive fear, often seeded in childhood experiences and societal expectations that condition us to prioritize harmony over authenticity. We challenge these ingrained beliefs, emphasizing that your intrinsic value isn't determined by how others perceive you. Society's norms might dictate that we are responsible for others' emotional responses, but we argue otherwise, encouraging you to stand firm in your truth. Are those who can't respect your authenticity worth keeping around? Empower yourself by questioning their role in your life and choosing well-being and authenticity over the burden of external approval.
Hello, our beautiful friends, and welcome back to your favorite podcast, mindfully Moody. My name is Hannah and I'm joined by my bestie and co-host, sarah, and we are so grateful to have you on another episode of Mindfully Moody. On this podcast, we talk about self-development, spirituality, tapping into the highest version of yourself. So if you're new here, welcome to the Moody family. Today we are talking about the fear of disappointing others and maybe the fear of disappointing yourself.
Speaker 1:This has been a theme for me my entire life because of the way I was raised, and I wanted to talk about this on the podcast, one for healing in myself, creating this awareness of myself, and also to shed some light on how you can kind of let go of this fear of disappointing people and really take your power back into your own hands, living the life that you want to live and not needing that approval from others to know your own value. So yeah, let's get into it, sarah. So let's maybe just talk about what is the fear of disappointing people and how can that show up in our lives. How can that?
Speaker 2:show up in our lives. Yeah, this is such a big one that so many people resonate with, and I feel like it shows up in such different ways because it is a very broad and powerful fear. If you are someone that has a hard time feeling like you're speaking what you really want to say to someone, maybe you know that you want to tell your partner, your parent, your friend, your coworker X, y and Z thing, but there is something in you that is like girl, you can't say that, whether it's your inner narrator or the voice in your head saying that, or you feel that you have this physical inability to express yourself and what you have to say. This so often leads back to that.
Speaker 2:You have a fear of disappointing other people because you have a fear of not being accepted by other people. You have a fear of what it would be like if people didn't quote, unquote, like you or want to be around you. It's like the disappointing people is one layer and then you can go deeper and it really is a self-worth and self-value fear as well, and so it can show up in a lot of different ways. Well, and so it can show up in a lot of different ways, but I feel like the most common ways that it shows up is that inability to express your truth and you, essentially, are hiding or holding on to whatever you need to say, because you feel like if you say it, something will come from it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I have a very real recent example that I want to share, to drive this home and let people know like let people know kind of how this can show up in real life. So this past weekend I was camping with all my friends and it was like such a beautiful weekend. Like my friend prepared like everything for us to go camping. It was like so fun.
Speaker 1:But I personally, me, I have I see myself as an extrovert but I'm also very introverted in that like I really need my time to recharge and like camping for like two, two days, like it just is like pushing me a little bit, like too much. And so I like set this expectation, kind of like even before going in, like I might leave Saturday, you know, like Saturday night, and like go like I I'll hang out all day but I might, you know, leave whatever, and like in that already owning that there's, there's fear coming up that I'm going to disappoint people, that of course my friends like they want me to stay there. They're going to have a good time If I'm there, me making myself so important the time is going to be better if I am here.
Speaker 2:That's true. That is true.
Speaker 1:They love you, they want to be with you, yeah, so so, whatever, like we have an amazing day on Saturday and then the night falls and you know, I'm having this in me. My other friend is like, tells me he's like, oh, I'm going home and I'm like I just have this like in me, I'm like I want to go home. Like once you get it in your head like I just want to go home, like I just I just want to go home. Nothing, nothing was wrong with anything that anybody did. Like it was just me like feeling I'm like I'm tired, I want to sleep in my own bed. My dog is literally so dirty. Like I just like want to go home. And then I just had this like. My other friend is like hey, I'm going home and, like you know, people are like a little bit disappointed, of course, but like he's good because he's got like he's, he's, he knows he's going, he's confident, he's solid on it. But for me, it like took me a while to like own that. Like you guys, I because they thought I was gonna stay the night and I literally like was like you guys, I was so scared to say it because I didn't want them to be like you know, and I just like told them. I like reflected that to them.
Speaker 1:I'm like this is where this whole fear of disappointing people came up in the first place for me, because I told them I have this fear of disappointing you guys if I go home and like I just really express my truth and like they were all so loving, but inside, before I was doing it, it was eating me alive. My throat chakra, I was feeling anxious, my body was at all of these things. I was having a visceral reaction to me not being able to speak what I actually wanted, because I was so afraid they were going to be disappointed. And then they were so loving. They're like we want you to honor yourself if that's what you need. Like you know, go home, we love you. Like like you know, go home, we love you. Like you're not disappointing us, you know. Like so loving, which I'm so understanding. Friends, as well as the theme here, I'm so appreciative of that. But like that fear, oh, it can just eat you alive and that holding in and not owning what you want can cause so much tension in your body.
Speaker 2:So true.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it was a really interesting experience for me to practice that of owning what I want and knowing I'm still safe and knowing I'm still valuable and that people don't hate me.
Speaker 2:That's such a good example. But I feel like it's also interesting to think about. Obviously, this wouldn't have happened with these specific people, but what? What if they didn't react like that? Yeah, what if they were like, really, hannah, we all agreed to come here this weekend camping and you're leaving, and like we think that that's so rude.
Speaker 2:Like we set this up, like this is real that some people could be like this right, yeah, and you know, go into this whole like thing like now they're pissed at you and now they think that you're selfish or something like that. That's their shit, like that is their stuff. That's still, and I feel like that's one of the most empowering things as you start to shift into. Ok, what would it look like if I let go of this fear of disappointing people? There's this division of like what is mine and what is theirs. Yeah, and why am I taking on what is theirs?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, like my fear of disappointment does that. How much of that comes from my own inner self and how much of that comes from feeling like I have to show up, like how much of that comes from me tempering my own, you know, actions in order to serve someone else's needs.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I think also Because this is really deeply on my heart, because I'm challenging myself of why I am the way I am, and I just want to be very compassionate to anyone else who is experiencing this. And you've experienced it, and I've experienced it Because on my way home I'm thinking about this. I'm like, why am I like that? Why am I placing so much value on my actions to dictate how other people feel? And there's this thing called like, uh, like parent parentification, something related to that, um, where parents rely on their children for their emotional wellbeing.
Speaker 1:And I was thinking back to my childhood and my dad, like often relied on my actions. That would either make him happy or sad, right, if I would do something for him. Now he's not, you know, crying, or now he's not depressed because I'm there with him. And so I was like that's most likely where that wound came from me, of if I, my actions, are going to affect someone else's emotions, so I need to take the best action in order to control and make this person happier or protect them so they don't feel sad. And it's like that was never my responsibility. Anyway, it was never my responsibility to regulate my dad's emotions as a kid, absolutely, but I was programmed that my actions affect that and so it makes sense and I have that awareness now that like I am that way. But it's yeah, it's a whole new challenge to be able to like learn something new, like that I don't have to do that, that I'm not responsible for other people's emotions, that you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oof, I love how you just linked that back, because it's so true. It's this why are we the way that we are? It is from something related to childhood and you know, I feel like in my own life I experience this a lot as well of not necessarily someone relying on me for their emotional well-being, but having a lot of emotions all the time as a child and in conjunction with interactions with my parents and there being a lot of chaos, a lot of drama, and me having to be the one or feeling like I had to be the one that would kind of step down in the situation or be the one that would compromise as the child.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know. And so I felt like, well, I'm responsible to, like, make things better. You know, I'm responsible to fix things, yeah. So now I've translated that in my life is like I don't even want to put things into a situation where they need to be fixed. Yeah, so I don't want conflict.
Speaker 2:And then I do see that in many of the situations in my life, I am the one that still has to be the fixer, you know, or the one that's going to go. And it's like I see that, yeah, I have definitely created this fear of disappointing people because I yeah, I don't, I don't want to let anyone down, I don't want to emotionally charge other people. Yeah, I want things to be even keel, I want things to be positive. So it's like it's hard for me sometimes to access, like my truth, which is interesting because I feel like I used to be really, really vocal about how I I felt, and now I've actually almost internalized how I feel more and hid how I feel more because I just don't want chaos in my life and I have this idea that if I express myself, it's going to cause chaos.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's going to disappoint someone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it's so interesting how the childhood they're different, but they can manifest in similar ways, right?
Speaker 1:Whether that is trying to keep the peace, or by not speaking the truth, or not doing the thing that you want to do, or doing the thing you don't want to do in order to keep the peace and keep everyone happy, I feel like it comes down to this value piece, that I am valuable, no matter what anybody else says.
Speaker 1:I am doing the best thing for me and the people around me by doing this thing right, acting in this way, saying this thing and standing on that. I think it's like coming, coming that full circle moment of like knowing who you are, being your authentic self, and like being able to stand in that and like so strong. It's like you're like this, like brick that like can never be knocked down by anybody else's opinion because you're so firm in how you believe and see yourself. But also this whole idea of the fear of disappointing people. Again, there's like such a compassionate lens with it, like it's just so loving, like, oh my gosh, we don't want to hurt people's feelings, we want people to be happy, like right, which is like. Who can argue against that? That's nice, yeah.
Speaker 2:I just want everyone to get along and love each other. Yeah, yeah, and that is where it stems from in a lot of ways, and it's like I think that it stems from good intentions. However, we sacrifice ourselves at expense of those good intentions sometimes, and that is where I feel like the issue arises.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, and what you said about value is so true. It's like, let's say that you and I have a conversation where I'm going to tell you something that disappoints you, in whatever topic that it is. Your disappointment does not mean that I am a less valuable human being, like because I said this to you or that to you, or because I took this action or that action that felt in alignment to what I was experiencing, and you therefore are like wow, that you know, not like you're going to freak out on me. Some people would right, people have different reactions but like, wow, you know, that's hard to receive or that's really disappointing, or I'm sad, or I'm mad or whatever emotional response that you have. Even if you do freak out at me and say you, you know, or I don't have to use you, but you know what I mean, any individual that you're going to have an interaction with, even if someone freaks out and tells you blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, like that doesn't lessen your value as a person, as an individual.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it's like. Oh, there's this like really good example. It's like, just because I'm having in this hypothetical situation, just because I'm having in this hypothetical situation, just because I'm having this reaction, doesn't mean that you're wrong in whatever it is that you want. It's like Right, yeah, it's like it's, it's, it's hard. It reminds me of rejection, like in dating too. Like okay, you two people can date someone.
Speaker 1:Just because someone rejects somebody else, that doesn't mean that they're a bad person. That's just not the preference that that person wants. So, like you can have a different opinion than me and I could react in this certain way, but that doesn't mean that you're wrong in the thing that you want. It's just it didn't fit or align with how I desired the outcome to be. Which feels like, if you're having these, the fear of disappointing people and then people are disappointed. But you are being in your truth, you are being your authentic self, right, maybe, maybe there isn't space for them in your life. You know, like I don't know, cause. Yeah, if you them in your life. You know, yeah, like I don't know because. Yeah, if you think, if people you know when I went camping if they would have, you know, freaked out and reacted this way.
Speaker 1:It's like well, I don't really want people around me in my life, that you know can't respect me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, so true. And it's so hard to get to this narrative in our minds because society teaches us that we're responsible for other people's triggers. So because you got mad at something that I told you. And listen, if I'm coming at you in like a super rude, aggressive way, like that's different, but if I share something with you and you know you get disappointed, you get upset. The way that society has taught us is like well, now I'm wrong because you got upset about it and I'm responsible for taking you to that level. So that's what we learned as children Like whoever was getting mad in this situation was like the one who was right in a way, or like whoever was if you were offended, that person was automatically the one in the right. You know what I mean, and it's kind of bizarre to think like that, because it's like well, I mean that wasn't my intention to offend you or to make you angry, but you got so triggered that you took it there and now I'm responsible for your disappointment and I feel like I caused this in you.
Speaker 2:And this is so much of what a lot of us experience as children, with our parents, with our siblings, with friends. I mean even this was think about friends that you had in your younger life. I mean even this was think about like friends that you had in like your younger life. I mean I feel like I had so many toxic friendships when I was growing up, you know, because we were all just like figuring out what the hell the world was and who we were and where we fit into it. So it's like there was this deep like disappointment that you would feel about this friend did this, or talk to that person or you know, like all of these things that felt so personal. Yeah, and yeah, it just perpetuates this like fear of conflict, fear of disappointing people when we become adults.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I feel like it's this like idea of like being okay with disappointing people, like one knowing yourself, like you're being very clear on your boundaries, and like opening your heart chakra and being able to speak your truth and what you want and noticing if there is a misalignment. Oh my gosh, I'm feeling this like tension in my body and I feel like I'm gonna scream and I really need to get this out. Like having that awareness and then speaking what you want, but then also being okay and knowing that it is not your job to regulate somebody else's nervous system, as long as you're being like true in yourself and like doing what's best for you. Like at the end of the day, we're going to disappoint you know so many people like a hundred percent you know, so like oh my gosh we're never going to make everybody happy.
Speaker 1:Not everyone is going to always like you Like. So like, yeah, being like having your boundaries, like knowing what it is that you want and like making yourself right first, like being selfish. Sometimes, of course, there's room, you know, for your really close people, but yeah, it's such a balance. It's such a delicate balance because you don't want to be a bitch, like totally a rude person and like neglect everyone else's feelings too, you know like, all the time, well, and that's why I think I mean it's such an old saying, but it's not what you say, it's how you say it, you know.
Speaker 2:I mean you don't have to bulldoze in to someone and saying you know, this is how I feel and if you don't respect it, then fuck off. You know, like you don't have to go in like that.
Speaker 1:Which can come from a fear, fear base right To if someone's holding that in constantly and not being able to be themselves. That's when that comes out, rather than a loving yes.
Speaker 2:And it is this whole concept because it is a fear, you know, from a spiritual perspective I mean this is such a root chakra, based like a foundation, because it is a fear. And then that fear of, you know, disappointment, it's like a fear of safety. I'm not going to be safe if I express myself, if I share what I'm feeling with this person, or if I quit my corporate job, or if I leave my partner that I've been with, or if I tell my parents that they hurt me, like whatever the thing is that you are the situation or circumstance you know that's causing this. Like I can't have this conversation or I can't take this action, or whatever it is Like there is this fear of safety that is causing this instability in your life and then, therefore, it's blocking your whole throat chakra, your whole throat chakra. Like now you're not even able to activate your voice and your authenticity and your truth because you have this instability at your basically core, most important, in a way, chakra, because that's your survival. So your survival feels threatened, and when our survival feels threatened, I mean a lot of things are going to are going to go wonky in life.
Speaker 2:So it's such an important thing to address because this can take a hold of us and really put us in circumstances that we do not desire to be in and create a lot of misalignment in our lives, just because we are scared to disappoint other people or that other people will not like us. And, at the end of the day, exactly what you said we're going to disappoint a lot of people. How many people do you think you disappointed when you quit your corporate job? You know oh, my phone was ringing off the hook. Everyone was disappointed in me, you know, or like, whatever, whatever action you know that that you took when you stop drinking, stop going out.
Speaker 1:Of course, your friends are gonna be disappointed that the party ain't there.
Speaker 2:People hate that one. That's a good one, yeah, it's, and it's like that's what is better To abandon your own needs, your own wants, your own desires to serve other people.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Are you really putting other people and their thoughts, opinions and value on top of you thoughts, opinions and value on top of you, Like if we're thinking about a pyramid like other people and their opinions are at the top versus your own prioritization and how you get to experience life. I mean, that is just not fair to ourselves.
Speaker 1:Or to other people, like Phillip, if your cup is empty, if you're doing something that you don't want to do for other people, you're not going to be in a good energy anyway to be like in that space. If I would have stayed there camping like, I wouldn't have been like happy, I would have been annoyed, I would have been resentful, I would have been all these things. So it's like yeah, end of the day, own your truth, be you, put yourself first.
Speaker 2:Yeah, own your truth, be you, put yourself first. Yeah, that's just making me think. Like you know, when you go on like a trip with someone or you're doing an activity with someone, like could be you know a friend or like someone that's just like an acquaintance, and like they're just miserable, like they don't want to be there. You know, and you're like why are you putting this on me? Like, why are you making us deal with this right now? You know, like you have such like a fear of taking yourself out of the situation, even if you're being crazy in this situation, that, like you're allowing other people so that's a great ending point of like it's really not good for yourself and it's not good for other people. Yeah, so get comfortable with disappointing people Love it. That's the bottom line for this episode.
Speaker 1:Fall in love with that process. I really like this episode. I really like this episode. I feel like it was really heavy hitting.
Speaker 2:Like really real. We need to shift out of this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we need to shift out of this as a collective.
Speaker 2:People pleasing Like it's the people pleasing, it's the perfectionism, and we are shifting. We are calling on all of you to, after listening to this episode, start to reflect on how this shows up in your life. Send it to someone who you're scared of disappointing.
Speaker 1:And send us a text. Let us know, know. Literally drop down in the show notes. Send us a text. If this episode hit hard for you, let us know why. Let us know why. Send us a text. Yes, and if you haven't subscribed to the youtube channel, girl, go hit subscribe so you get notified. You can see our beautiful faces we love you.
Speaker 2:We'll see you soon.
