148: The Spiritual Awakening of Pregnancy: Sara is Pregnant!

In this heartfelt solo episode, I, (Sara) am sharing THAT I AM PREGNANT! I'm digging into my personal journey through the early stages of pregnancy, especially the first trimester, a time filled with unexpected challenges and beautiful revelations. This has been the most profoundly spiritual journey of my life, inviting new spiritual awakenings.

Join me as I share about the powerful transitions of going from the maiden to the mother, shedding my past identities and stories. I have spent the first trimester experiencing a lot of emotions, a true rollercoaster of feelings, that so many pregnant women face, but often go unspoken. I'm here to vulnerably open up about the first trimester, the depression that can come along, and the incredible need for so much self-love and compassion during this time period.

I share some of my favorite quotes from the book I am reading, Nine Golden Months by Heng Ou. This book has been massively supportive in my pregnancy so far. 

One of my favorite quotes is, “During pregnancy, women are walking a labyrinth of being mortal, becoming immortal, and coming back to mortal” - Haize Hawke. This really represents the spiritual awakening of pregnancy in my eyes.
 
Some of the themes discussed through this spiritual awakening pregnancy episode:

• The Process of Shedding Past Versions of Ourselves: Understanding the need to let go of old patterns, beliefs, and habits that hold us back to welcome in the new version of ourselves, the mother.
• Embracing the Present: How living in the moment can facilitate healing and personal growth, allowing us to connect with our true selves.
• Vulnerability in Change: Sharing my struggles and triumphs as I navigate major life transitions, highlighting the importance of being open to change!
• Astrological Influences: Reflecting on how cosmic events, such as full moons, have guided my journey and offered insights into my personal growth.
• Actionable Steps: Providing listeners with practical tools and techniques to help them release their own outdated selves and embrace the journey of self-discovery.
• Community Support: Encouraging listeners to engage with each other and create a supportive network as we all navigate our individual journeys together.

Chapters

• 0:01 Navigating Pregnancy
• 18:13 Embracing the Journey of Pregnancy
• 28:06 Prioritizing Self-Care During Pregnancy

Transcript

Sara: 0:01

I am pregnant. I still can't believe that. I'm saying that because it feels still sometimes like it's not true. Hello, beautiful people, welcome back to Mindfully Moody, a community podcast that me, sarah, and my best friend and co-host, hannah, created for you to live your highest potential, live your most embodied truth and create the life that you desire. And we bring you the guidance, the love, the tools, the tips, all of the things to help you do exactly that. And we give you our formula that we have used and we're also always, ever evolving. So all of the things that we're going through we bring to the podcast, and we are so grateful to have you here. If you are not subscribed, go subscribe to us right now, wherever you're listening Apple, spotify, whatever podcast platform you're on and we will be so honored if you would leave us a five-star rating and share with a friend. This is how we grow, our ever building community, and we're so grateful for you taking this beautiful time out of your day to prioritize you. So I have a special episode for you today. I'm here to do a solo and I have some news. There are some things that I have been going through in my life. There are some things that I have been going through in my life. This is going to be, I feel, like a really cathartic, reflective episode for me, because this is a big announcement and I really want to share with women that may be going through similar things to what I'm going through and open up the conversation in a way that I haven't really been seeing the conversation opened up online before. So, without further ado, let's get into it. I am pregnant, pregnant. I still can't believe that. I'm saying that because it feels still sometimes like it's not true. I wouldn't really say that I went into a trying period because it happened so quickly and I am forever grateful for that. At the same time, with that comes a lot of need to process and just a lot of unexpected things came up really quickly. So I want to share today about some of the things that I've been processing through, about what pregnancy has created in my life, and just get into some of the realness about it.

Sara: 3:15

I feel like this is really important because a lot of the pregnancy content that I consume or have consumed which, by the way, my algorithm was not on pregnancy until right now, so what I had consumed was not a mass amount of information, but what I had heard, what I had seen, really, really really showed the joyful, excited part of pregnancy and there is that massive part. There is also another part that is grieving a life of your own, a past life of your own that you aren't going to have anymore, is also the hormone changes that come with pregnancy. That, in my case, led me to experience some depression, some doubt, some questioning, led me to not really be able to get out of bed some days, and I really hadn't seen this kind of information about pregnancy. I was surprised, I didn't really know what to expect, and it's definitely been different than I expected, and I know that a lot of women can relate to this. So actually, where I want to start is by reading a few quotes to you that have really resonated with me during my pregnancy and kind of riff off of those.

Sara: 4:49

So let me first tell you I'm reading this amazing book and I'm going to drop it in the show notes. It's called Nine Golden Months and it is this beautiful book that really represents just all of the changes that we go through in pregnancy and also all of the gifts that come as well, and helps you walk through how you can best support yourself and how you can best ask for support from the people in your community. And my doula so graciously gifted me this book and it's really been a big just resource for me as I have been processing through a lot of things. So one of the quotes that I really really stuck with me I was reading this last night with my husband is during pregnancy women are walking a labyrinth of being mortal, becoming immortal and coming back to mortal, says master doula Hayes Hawk. That's an incredible tightrope walk. It can be transformational or it can be terrifying if you don't have a support system in place. Women are walking a labyrinth of being mortal, becoming immortal and coming back to mortal. Let me just break that down for a minute and how that's made me feel, because it definitely represents how I feel in a lot of ways.

Sara: 6:24

Before you're pregnant, before you go into this literal portal of transformation, portal of creation, portal of birth, creating a new life, creating something completely new in your body that you understood was possible but had never really felt was possible until you get pregnant, is such a crazy experience, to just put it simply. And there is this part where you feel like you're you sort of separate from other people, from your past self, from a lot of things in life. And there is this part of pregnancy that feels like I think I'm stepping into this part right now that feels like you are becoming immortal, like you are this creatrix that is bringing life to this world. Which what is more precious than bringing life to this world? As women, we are warriors, we are creators, we have the ability to create true life through our wombs, and we forget the power that we have. And there is this big process in becoming pregnant where you start to recognize the true gift that pregnancy not only pregnancy is, but that you have. And this was not really the feeling that I was feeling in the first trimester. In the first trimester and I'm going to start to post a lot more content about this, because I know that when I was in the first trimester and I saw content about this, it was like, oh my gosh, I needed to see this, I needed to hear this, I needed to relate to other women.

Sara: 8:32

The first trimester was extremely challenging for me. It was mentally challenging, emotionally challenging, spiritually challenging, physically challenging. It was challenging in every single way. I had massive fatigue. I felt feelings of depression that I had never felt in years and years. I struggled with depression in my younger life and very high anxiety and I have worked through a lot of holistic ways to mend that in my adult life or to process through that quicker than I used to.

Sara: 9:08

And this took me back to the depths y'all the depths of depression and challenge. And I would say to my husband I just want to wake up and not be depressed. I'm confused. I don't know what's going on in my body. I don't feel pregnant. There's this thing about you don't feel pregnant. Obviously you're not showing yet. I was just gaining a lot of weight. I was starving. I felt like I couldn't really move my body. I've always been really into fitness and strength training and I couldn't really move like I used to at all. It was like this immediate decrease in strength.

Sara: 9:51

So the first trimester made me feel weak. It made me feel sad, frustrated, scared, this deep sense of loneliness that I think a lot of women feel. And I was reading in this book that I'm talking about nine golden months of pregnancy, or nine golden months. I'm sorry that having a support system during this time is the most necessary thing. I don't have friends. I'm the first of my close friends that have been pregnant. So I don't have women in my life that have experienced pregnancy outside of my mother and obviously she's a deep support system for me, and I have an incredible support system of women who are so special to me, and I think that I have the absolute best friends in the world, the coolest friends in the world, the most incredible friends in the world, sisters, true sisters, and I am so forever grateful for them. At the same time, I've dreamed of what it would be like to have people that had gone through this, that could understand some of the emotional things that I felt during the first trimester. So I felt this deep sense of loneliness, and that's completely normal, and when you're going through all these rises in hormones and all these shifts in your body, it's just, yeah, your shadows come out. That's what I saw spiritually start to occur.

Sara: 11:37

For me was I had this big anxiety. I felt like my ego was running rampant Before I found out that I was pregnant in August. I was like why am I going through the most transformational shadow period, I feel like, of my entire life? I was stressed all the time and then, of course, I found out I was pregnant and I understood why, but I share all this, to just be real, that the first trimester is hard and you feel like I felt probably the most human that I've ever felt in the last year since my spiritual awakening and I felt like I was living in this muck that I couldn't escape and it felt deeply, deeply sad to me all the time during the first trimester. So that was that kind of like becoming mortal part. And now I'm shifting into this becoming immortal part where I recognize that a lot of the challenges that I was going through in my first trimester were for a spiritual reason as well.

Sara: 12:51

I think being pregnant is one of the challenges that I was going through in my first trimester were for a spiritual reason as well. I think being pregnant is one of the most spiritual experiences you will ever go through in your life, I will ever embark on in my life. Let me speak mostly for myself, because it's individual for every single person that experiences pregnancy. However, for me, I feel like the first trimester was this massive shedding of the past versions of myself, of the woman that I was before. It was me as the maiden archetype, right Me as this woman. I was also transitioning into being a wife, which I really never got into the role of before I found out that I was also transitioning into being a wife, which I really never got into the role of before I found out that I was pregnant.

Sara: 13:33

So it's like I was having all these massive shifts in embodying these new roles that were being created for me that I had created, of course, for myself, and I was shifting from the maiden into the mother and I feel like now, in my second trimester, I'm embodying, starting to discover more of that mother energy, that immortal energy that the quote in the book is talking about, and I am so grateful for this shift. I needed this shift because I recognize that this deep muck of the first trimester was this shedding process, and I'm so curious to hear if other women relate to this. So please reach out to me. I would be honored to connect with you. I would be so deeply grateful to connect with you and hear your experience, hear your experience about being pregnant, because this shedding has left me seeing that there is so much that is about to come into my life, this new discovery of who the current version of me is becoming, who I will be in the third trimester, who I will be as a mother when my baby is born, who I will be in postpartum, who I will be as a wife and a mother combined.

Sara: 15:05

There is this birthing process of not only the baby but the new version of me, the new version of Sarah who I am becoming, and that's why I think I had to go through that challenge of the first trimester to cleanse, to clear, to remove a lot of those densities that belong to the past version of me, those ego patterns, those things that kept me really stuck in that feeling of muck was a removal, was a clearing, was a cleansing. So I wanted to start with that quote because it just resonated so, so deeply with me, and I want to share another one as well, from the same book, nine Golden Months, that I'm linking in the show notes, and it says some psychologists dub pregnancy a crisis. What they mean is that this is a unique developmental phase in a woman's life where she encounters the unknown tests, her fortitude and trust goes through a climax point, a peak experience that pushes her to plumb her most hidden depths and then digest the experience during the postpartum phase, gradually integrating or making sense of how her new identity of mother, sense of how her new identity of mother. Yeah, it feels like I have been. You know, you think about like a mountain. In Mindfully Moody we use the imagery and the metaphor of a mountain so much. That was really our creation.

Sara: 16:49

When we first birthed Mindfully Moody, we had mountains in our podcast tile and it really was all about climbing the mountain, of growth, of awakening, of discovering you and this big personal development journey that happens as you are climbing the mountain and the acknowledgement that everyone is at a different place on their climb and that is so beautiful that we all get to meet each other on this climb. And I feel like pregnancy is very similar and what they just talk about in that quote that I shared of pregnancy, has this climb, this momentum right? This moment that you're on the bottom of the hill and you start climbing and it's like the first trimester and maybe you're a little bit excited at first and then you start to maybe you forgot your water and you're like, oh, I'm kind of starting to feel tired, I'm starting to feel fatigued and should I give up? And you're looking at the mountain and it's really tall and you're thinking this looks really, really hard and I don't know if I'm going to make it up there and you start to have all of these feelings of doubt come in and you know you're like, oh my gosh, I'm scared, I'm confused, what if this happens? What if that happens?

Sara: 18:13

But you continue your climb up because you know that you are going to persevere. And then you reach this point on the mountain. That is maybe. For you it's the top of the mountain, maybe, and everyone has their own definition of what that moment in pregnancy would be to top of the mountain. But whatever your climax moment is, maybe it's like you're three quarters up the mountain and you've realized, holy crap, I'm going to make it. I'm going to make it up this mountain, I'm going to do it. I am so eternally proud of myself that I am doing this. How incredible am I? I am so freaking powerful and strong and I am a warrior, and whatever that moment is, where then you just enter bliss. And maybe you don't enter bliss ever during pregnancy, I don't know.

Sara: 19:05

This experience again is so individual I don't want to paint that. We all experience the same. There is this moment for me that started to feel like a turning point, and it's really recently. The moment has been really, really recent y'all, because before this, I was really just focused on the finish line, and I'm not the type of person that desires to just focused on the finish line and I'm not the type of person that desires to be focused on the finish line in anything that I do in life. I desire to be focused on the journey, because the journey is exactly that. It's the journey, it's the process, it's the beauty of everything that we get to experience. The beauty of everything that we get to experience. And, you know, being pregnant in just the last few weeks when I've had this shift, has started to bring to me that the journey is really beautiful, even when it feels like it's not, even when it feels really hard, even when you feel like, how am I going to get out of bed today?

Sara: 20:11

And one of the biggest things that I've reflected on in this pregnancy journey as well is the deep frustration that I have about our society in America, the matrix, the society that tells us that, oh, you get pregnant, nothing should change in your life, you need to keep going at the same job that you've had, you need to keep the same routines, you need to just keep on going and the only time that you really get to rest or that you deserve to rest is maybe for like a couple weeks, maybe a couple months. If you have a great corporate job after you give birth and our society doesn't acknowledge all of the massive shifts that you experience when you're pregnant and we're not set up to operate as pregnant women in a society like this, we need to tend to ourselves in ways that we didn't have to tend to ourselves when we were not pregnant. We need additional rest. We need additional support from people, and that doesn't mean the support that says, oh, you need to keep going or oh, you didn't do this today. I know that so many women can relate to this specific point, because I know that this is such a major tension, especially for women that have no other choice than to keep going in their lives at the same pace as they were going when they weren't pregnant.

Sara: 21:41

I feel deeply grateful for existing at this point in my life in entrepreneurship and being able to take a little step back and allowing people to support me, allowing my family to support me, my husband to support me in a different way than they supported me before. But many people don't have that option. I've reflected a lot on when I worked in corporate America and what it would be like if I was pregnant right now in corporate America and yes, of course there are. Maybe I was working from home. I could take a nap for an hour in the middle of the day if I would have needed to when I was pregnant, but I couldn't have asked people to change their schedules for me. That's not the level of support that you receive when you're pregnant and you have to continue to show up as your previous self at a job. I couldn't have responded more emotionally in a meeting and it not came back to bite me in a meeting and it not came back to bite me. I couldn't have not shown up for three days for work because I was going through a moment of deep depression.

Sara: 22:52

So this expectation that we have in America for pregnant women is just out and out wrong in my opinion. I feel like something's got to give and there should be some more structure to acknowledge and speak to pregnant women, and I am forever deeply in reverence to all the women before me who have given birth in my familial line, outside of my familial line, literally every woman across this world that has given birth. I am in deep reverence of you, of your strength, of your compassion, of your ability to create life, of your ability to adapt to whatever circumstances are in front of you. I am in such deep reverence to mothers who show up every single day for their children, who show up for their partners, for their families, who sacrifice their own needs, wants and desires to be the person that their family needs to be, the person that they feel like they have to be. This is such a challenging experience and, at the same time, the most rewarding experience I can imagine ever going through as a woman. So I say all that to say as well.

Sara: 24:37

If I could go back and give myself advice for the earlier part of my pregnancy and I'm only in the early parts of my second trimester, but I still want to share this I would give the advice of be kinder to yourself, be gentler to yourself, allow yourself to surrender to feelings of depression, to the fatigue, to the feelings of loneliness, to whatever is going to arise. Just surrender to the moments that are coming up for you, because they're coming up for a reason, and when we hide from them, when we run from them, when we turn our backs on them, turn our backs on them, they last longer, they deepen their claws into us, but when we surrender and allow them to flow through us and we cry and we express ourselves and we open up to a support system, even if it's my goodness, I've seen so many women just open up on social media, create a TikTok page that no one that you know follows you on and post on there. Call an old friend that you feel like might have the safe space for you. I'm sure that there are numerous support hotlines which I would love to look into to provide as a resource. Get a journal this is something that I did that you are just going to reflect on your pregnancy experience and really deepen into sharing these deeply, deeply sacred feelings and experiences that you have during pregnancy, because you deserve to be seen, heard and valued. I deserve to be seen, heard and valued. I'm speaking right now to a camera and a microphone in my bedroom, and this is one of the most cathartic things that I've done so far during my pregnancy. So thank you, as you're listening to this, for holding space for me, for allowing me to share my experience with you and, if you are pregnant right now, or if you are not pregnant, if you maybe want to become pregnant at some point in your life and you don't even know when. I still think that this is a powerful episode to listen to, because it acknowledges that as women, we are ever changing, ever evolving, and that is how we are meant to be, and there is so much beauty in the shift that we get to experience in this life, and I am sending you, if you are pregnant, so much love, so much energy of peace, of surrender, of relaxation. Go, do the things that make you feel good, and if right now, that's completely different things than made you feel good pre-pregnancy because that's what I'm experiencing Sometimes what makes me feel good is laying in bed and scrolling TikTok, or sometimes what makes me feel good is reading a book about pregnancy, or going on a 10 minute walk, because it's all that I energetically have.

Sara: 28:06

Or calling up one of my friends and venting and just allowing that space to be held for me. Whatever makes you feel good right now, do it, and it doesn't have to be that wellness routine that you used to do Y'all. I do not have a morning routine at this point, okay, and I was a morning routine girl. Every single day I got up out of the house moving this point okay. And I was a morning routine girl. Every single day I got up out of the house moving, going, go, go, go, go go. And I worked out almost every single day. I meditated almost every single day. I journaled. I did so much spiritual activity.

Sara: 28:41

I've taken a big step back from that in pregnancy because it hasn't felt aligned. It's starting to feel aligned now, but just because something doesn't feel aligned doesn't mean it won't ever feel aligned again. I've realized that I need to prioritize different things. What feels aligned to me is sleep, true rest, sleeping in. I don't get up at six anymore. I get up at seven or seven, 30. I'd love to get up at nine. So follow your intuition right now and know that you are always deeply connected to your wisdom and your womb is creating more wisdom right now than it ever has before, sister. So thank you, I'm sending you so much love. I would love to hear from you If you are pregnant right now.

Sara: 29:38

We have a feature in our show notes where you can actually send us a text. Send me a text If you want to hear more pregnancy content. Send me what you want to hear about. I would love to do more solo episodes. I would love to create more content on TikTok Instagram. If you are not following us on those platforms, go follow us on TikTok and Instagram. Now that this is announced, I'll be sharing more content about the experience of being pregnant. Now that this is announced, I'll be sharing more content about the experience of being pregnant, how it relates to spirituality all about that. Also, I'm going to be sharing a lot on my personal social media as well, outside of Mindfully Moody, so go follow me there too, and I also want to just drop some I should have said this earlier in the episode because I think that us pregnant women really need a break, and I will be facilitating, hosting, creating a magical women's retreat this December and I've talked about it before it is called the Awakened Women Retreat.

Sara: 30:44

It is in Mexico. I am creating this with one of my best, dearest friends, danielle, who is also a coach, healer, reiki master, facilitator, psychic of all different kinds, and she and I are creating this retreat as a shamanic journey through the chakra system, through the elements, and this experience is going to be so transformative for all of the women that come. So if you are pregnant right now, I will be there. Pregnant sisters. I will be there five and a half months pregnant, facilitating in my best, most feminine self.

Sara: 31:27

So if you are pregnant, we welcome you to join us, of course, not too deeply far in your pregnancy, but I will be honored to hold space for pregnant women while being there and there will be a little bit of adjustment in things that you will be doing. And if you are not pregnant most of the women obviously are not pregnant that are coming we would also love to have you there. And we have a special offer going on right now for friends If you bring a friend, you have a $600 discount, so 300 for each of you. We also have a giveaway going right now for about $1,000 off the retreat. So I will post this all in the show notes, sending you so much love, sending you so much gratitude, and we will be back with you next Wednesday for more beautiful reflections and shares. Thank you, sisters. Have a beautiful week.