Mindfully Moody | Highest Self, Manifestation, Dating Advice & Feminine Energy
Welcome to Mindfully Moody, a transformative space where self-discovery, spiritual exploration, and personal growth come together. We, Hannah Andersen and Sara Swanson, are best friends navigating our spiritual journeys and authentically sharing our experiences along the way. Our podcast was born from our shared love of life’s flow—the highs, the lows, and the magic found in between. We’re here to inspire you to live a more conscious, fulfilled, and aligned life.
Podcast Topics we cover:
How to become your highest self
How to live an aligned life
How to date intentionally
How to quit your job
Spiritual Awakening
How to be in your feminine energy
How to manifest
At Mindfully Moody, we dive deep into powerful topics like self-love, healing past wounds, and embracing your true, authentic self. We explore all things spirituality, from manifestation to energy work, and how to tap into your divine feminine energy for a more balanced life. Each episode is crafted to provide real-life stories and tools that resonate with our listeners, designed to help you in your journey to self-growth and empowerment.
We explore how to create meaningful relationships, from dating and romantic connections to friendships that nourish your soul. Whether you're single, dating, or in a long-term partnership, our discussions on relationships focus on aligning your values, discovering true freedom within yourself, and finding love that supports your highest self. We know from experience that dating can be challenging in today’s world, but it can also be a powerful tool for growth and self-discovery. Join us as we talk about navigating the complexities of modern dating, learning to listen to your intuition, and finding a relationship that truly aligns with your life’s purpose.
Living an aligned life means finding true freedom within yourself and embracing the things that bring you the most joy, peace, and fulfillment. We share stories of how we broke free from limiting beliefs, self-doubt, and toxic relationships, and found freedom in building the life we desire. You’ll hear our personal transformations, from overcoming childhood trauma and navigating divorce to creating thriving businesses aligned with our passions.
We also dive into mindfulness practices that guide us in living fully in the present moment, helping you create a life that feels authentic to your soul. Topics like mindfulness, meditation, journaling, and breathwork offer powerful tools for healing and reconnecting with your inner wisdom. These practices are key to creating emotional resilience and aligning with your true desires.
If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed by the pressures of life, career, and relationships, this podcast is your guide to realigning with your purpose and reclaiming your power. We explore ways to overcome burnout, manage stress, and achieve harmony between your personal and professional life. For the female entrepreneurs and creatives, we offer insights into balancing your masculine and feminine energy so you can achieve success without sacrificing your well-being.
Our episodes are infused with practical advice and tangible action steps, helping you make small shifts that lead to big changes in your life. We’re here to support you in your journey of personal transformation, offering our experiences as a roadmap for you to live a life that is more intentional, fulfilled, and joyful.
We release new episodes every Monday morning, so start your week with us as we dive into the soul-nourishing work of self-discovery, love, and transformation.
With light and love,
Hannah & Sara
Mindfully Moody | Highest Self, Manifestation, Dating Advice & Feminine Energy
135: How to Activate Self-Love, Break Free from Anxiety, + Embrace Confidence
Have you ever felt paralyzed by self-doubt and anxiety, wondering if you could ever break free? Maybe you went out last night and you have massive hangxiety, but you know the root of your anxiety is deeper than your drunk escapades. Maybe you struggle with imposter syndrome but can't figure out how to push past it.
WE HAVE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE and now we're giving you the tools on how we healed our self-doubt, anxiety, and fearful minds to arrive to the empowered girlies we are today. This episode takes you on our deeply personal journey from the clutches of low self-esteem to the liberating embrace of self-love.
Do you want our EXACT formula on how we made the powerful shifts in our lives? We give it to you here for 50% off...SELF-DOUBT -> SELF-LOVE IN 30 DAYS!!
By sharing our own stories of struggle and transformation, we reveal how recognizing and addressing the root causes of our anxieties can lead to profound personal growth. We go into our own stories of when we've experienced anxiety that literally held us back from even approaching strangers in public!! Tune in for our funny story about our European hostel vacay.
Fast forward to today, where we have stepped into our power, we've cultivated self-acceptance and self-love, and we're no longer held back from the anxiety that trapped us in the past.
We discuss how to confront these uncomfortable situations head-on, turning them into opportunities for growth. By examining the recurring negative feelings that often haunt us, we uncover their origins and work towards healing. We'll guide you through our experiences in becoming more self-aware, offering insights and practical steps to help you tackle similar challenges in your own life.
From the anxiety of engaging without distractions to the fear of rejection rooted in childhood, we cover it all, encouraging you to nurture curiosity about these emotions rather than avoiding them.
We also get into the importance of setting boundaries on our healing journeys, which can be incredibly empowering, yet it often triggers anxiety. We share our journey of learning to respect ourselves and maintain boundaries, discussing the initial discomfort and the rewarding sense of empowerment that follows.
Join us for a heartfelt episode filled with healing, growth, and the pursuit of self-love.
xoxo,
Sara & Hannah
FOLLOW MINDFULLY MOODY ON TIKTOK + INSTAGRAM to vibe with us and stay connected!
SELF-DOUBT -> SELF-LOVE IN 30 DAYS | Are you ready to overcome self-doubt and fall deeply in love with yourself? This is the course for you!
THE AWAKENED WOMAN RETREAT | December 11-17, 2024 in the Jungle in Mexico (outside of Cancun) hosted by Sara Swanson and Danielle Sharkey!
PASSION TO PROFIT FREE COURSE | Go here to get access to Hannah's FREE course to learn how you can create a business doing what YOU love.
FOLLOW HANNAH ON TIKTOK + INSTAGRAM to activate your dream life!
FOLLOW SARA ON TIKTOK + INSTAGRAM to reclaim your femininity and highest self!
Find more on Mindfully Moody at: https://www.mindfu
Why are we acting like this? What are these behaviors that we're exhibiting? Why do we have so much anxiety? Why are we feeling depressed? And when we started asking ourselves these questions of like, why are we feeling bad, that's when everything started to change. What's up? Mindfully Moody besties? It's Hannah and I'm joined by my bestie and co-host, sarah, and we are so excited to have you on another episode of Mindfully Moody besties. It's Hannah and I'm joined by my bestie and co-host, sarah, and we are so excited to have you on another episode of Mindfully Moody. We're making some changes over here as girls and we're excited for what is to come in the future.
Speaker 1:If you have not subscribed to this podcast on Apple or Spotify, I need you to stop what you're doing literally right now. Go to Spotify, hit, follow and subscribe to us on Apple so you can get updated and notified every single time we upload a new podcast. We upload podcasts every single Monday for your listening pleasure, so make sure you're subscribed on all platforms so you can get all the tea from us. Also, if you're not following us on social media, we are constantly sharing these hot tips and tools on how to heal yourself and truly become the best version of you. Right now, we're actually doing a 30-day self-love challenge on TikTok, where we're sharing tips and our specific method on how we healed our self-doubt and really stepped into this total embodiment of self-love. So if you want those tips, be sure to go follow us on social media. On TikTok, we're mindfullymoody and Instagram, we're mindfullymoody. Underscore. We're going to be getting rid of that underscore soon though, don't worry. So go follow us and we are so excited to have a little cute little chat with you today.
Speaker 2:Okay, what is up? I love that intro Like that just gave me life. I feel like, okay, let me listen to my own podcast. You know, I am so excited to share, we are so excited to share that we are launching, have launched, our course called the Journey from Self-Doubt to Self-Love in 30 Days, and it includes our formula, our method, all of the things that Hannah and I have done over the past five years of deep investment in our mindset journey, spiritual journey, self-growth journey. We have put so much heart, soul and just focus into building this course so that women, just like us, are able to rapidly identify the root cause of their anxiety, of their self-doubt, and shift into a place of self-acceptance and then, ultimately, self-love. So this program is available right now and we have it for 50% off. So you can go in our show notes and click the link. There's a 50% off discount. That is for a limited time, so go check it out.
Speaker 2:And through this episode we are going to talk all about how to rapidly identify the root cause of your anxiety and self-doubt so that you can get to a place of healing.
Speaker 2:And this process and method that we have put together what I think is really unique about it and that I love about it is that through all of our lessons, it didn't necessarily go exactly this way for us, because these were things that we learned along the way, but we literally teach you how to reverse engineer the experiences that you are having in your life right now the anxiety, the self-doubt. The experiences that you are having in your life right now the anxiety, the self-doubt, the limiting beliefs that are showing up for you in your daily life. You can use our process to figure out okay, these are the behaviors that I'm exhibiting because of those things, and then this is the root cause. So I can actually create sustainable change, long-term change over time. Long-term change over time. So, get some popcorn, get a drink, get on your hot girl, walk whatever you are doing right now listening to this podcast, get ready, because we are taking you on our journey of how to heal your self-doubt and anxiety.
Speaker 1:Guys, let me tell you, Let me tell you, sarah and I used to be down bad, so down bad on ourselves that we were embarrassed to go in public. We let guys shit on us. We embarrassed ourselves at our careers, we felt like shit about ourselves, we felt insecure and was like literally just so much doubt that consumed us and our lives and it really brought us down into like a bad vibe. We weren't the vibe. We were low energy Because there was all of this shit holding us down, preventing us from seeing our true light and our beauty, and we had started having this conversation of like why are we acting like this?
Speaker 1:What are these behaviors that we're exhibiting? Why do we have so much anxiety? Why are we feeling depressed? And when we started asking ourselves these questions of like, why are we feeling bad, that's when everything started to change, because we had this sense of awareness that, like that, we're not feeling good about ourselves. So there must be a reason why we're not feeling good about ourselves. How can we figure that out? And that's what we're going to dive into and talk about today. Because so many people feel down bad, so many people don't like themselves, feel anxious, feel insecure when they look at the person in the mirror, and life is too damn short to be feeling that way about yourself. So we're going to teach you what we did. Let's give them the method.
Speaker 2:Get ready for the method, because what's coming to my mind is Hannah and I traveling to Europe. Okay, on our first time, we went to Europe together our first time and went to Europe together our first time and we are in Barcelona in a hostel, like think, like poppin' hostel party vibes, like every night they're organizing something to go to the club to like pregame party like, literally like a movie type of vibe.
Speaker 2:Okay, and we are in this hostel and we're standing there. It's like, okay, we're about to go to the bar and everyone's supposed to be mingling. And there we are, we're ready, we're excited, but we literally have debilitating anxiety of the thought of going up to strangers. We cannot even step outside of our comfort zone to speak to a stranger. I spent so much of my life not being able to speak to a stranger, unless I was drunk, yep, and so what?
Speaker 1:did we do?
Speaker 2:We stood there and we were sober.
Speaker 1:Took some shots.
Speaker 2:We were like let's get hip-hopping. Let's get hip-hopping because we need to be wasted to literally approach people popping. Let's get it popping because we need to be wasted to literally approach people. So that's just a little bit of a taste of insecurity that we experienced in our younger lives.
Speaker 1:And then we drank the jungle juice and we got a little liquid courage and then we started talking to people. And then we felt good about ourselves, we felt confident that we're like, oh wait, we can go talk to people because we had that liquid courage. But without that maybe we just would have been like, oh, let's just go, let's just go to a different bar or something. Fuck it.
Speaker 2:So let's get into our method of how we have healed or are healing, let's say because we're going to talk about today as well how we have been on this journey of healing our self-doubt. So in our course we take you through exercises and activities that really prompt you so that you can reflect on how self-doubt shows up in your daily life. So it can be really hard to jump to the immediate root cause right Of like, oh I have people-pleasing tendencies because this X, y and Z happened in my past. Or oh, I can't create boundaries with people, or I have struggles communicating in my partnership because of X, y and Z from my past.
Speaker 2:So we're really using all of these exercises to help you break that down in a really digestible way and by understanding what makes you uncomfortable, what triggers you, what brings up feelings of anxiety and self-doubt for you, you can start to unearth how this is controlling you on an everyday basis, how this is forming your thoughts that are actually limiting you in your life. Because when we stay stuck in our limiting beliefs, we never are able to grow. So if you were listening to this and you're like, yeah, I am limited, I feel stuck, I feel like I cannot grow. I feel like I'm trying to get ahead, but then my habits pull me back down, or my shit from the past pulls me back down, like this is for you. Keep listening to this episode, because you are going to take a lot away from this, so that you can start making simple changes in your life right away start making simple changes in your life right away.
Speaker 1:And our method, the reason why we built this, is because we honestly felt like we were in jail, like in energetic jail of, like these shackles on our arms right From the past, from childhood, from experiences that were shitty, right, that we think defined us at the moment, that prevent us from actually being who we really are and shining our light. And this method that we discovered was really about getting comfortable with the uncomfortable right. If we have these negative feelings that show up within us, a lot of times people are like oh, don't think negatively, don't give too much energy to the bad stuff in your life, which I preach as well. But I think if there's a constant problem, a constant issue, a negative feeling that continues to repeatedly come up in your life, it's important we nurture that right, that feeling, and saying like, getting curious and creating that awareness and saying like what is that feeling? What does it feel like within me? Why is that coming up? And just starting to like have this general familiarity with the feelings that arise within you that are uncomfortable, because once we can recognize this pattern of a feeling that's coming up within us constantly and we don't want to have that feeling. We can look into it and say, okay, what is this? Where is this coming from?
Speaker 1:I've had anxiety for the past two years about my job. Why am I having anxiety? I'm so anxious every time I go on a first, second or third date, when I go out with a guy. Why am I having these negative, insecure feelings about myself? Right? So, whatever it is right that you're experiencing in your life, whatever negative self-talk or what doubts you have, or anxiety, it's really like this opportunity. I'm inviting you to get curious about it, like why is that feeling here? Where is that coming from? What is that trying to show me?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I think it is such an invitation.
Speaker 2:The things that make you uncomfortable are an invitation to know where you need to go deeper, where you need to heal more where you need to place more of your intention and your attention so that you can take steps forward in your life. So if you just think on a really like bare bones, like, okay, what's my step one? Your step one is to make a list of things that make you super uncomfortable. Going out on a first date, like you just said. Public speaking, meditating, that's one that used to make me super uncomfortable. Being in an elevator with strangers Literally, there are so many Creating boundaries with the people in your life, telling people no, I want to give an example, communication with a partner.
Speaker 1:Yeah, go ahead For me this was something that was so big and it's just crazy to think about because it's totally normal to me now and I think a lot of people have this. That was so big and it's just crazy to think about because it's totally normal to me now. But like and I think a lot of people have this, like you know, when you're going on a walk or you're in an elevator with someone, it's like so many people do this, I see people do this all the time where it's like you get in an elevator with someone, you're going up literally at my apartment complex and like, immediately someone goes on their phone. They won't make eye contact with you. It's like why does this have to be so uncomfortable? Two strangers by themselves, but everyone freezes up.
Speaker 1:So I made it this habit now that anytime I'm in an elevator with someone, I just look at them and say like hi, how's your day going? And that feels so good, rather than let me fake, go on my phone and just pass the time by, because it's just so uncomfortable and I'm freezing up. And why was I doing that? Because I was insecure. Oh, I was scared to talk to the person. It's like I wanted to talk to the person, but I didn't, because I was like, oh, they might reject me, maybe they don't want to talk to me.
Speaker 1:All of these stories came up and I'm like, why is it always uncomfortable to go in an elevator and then facing the fear, understanding where that thing comes from and just being like, okay, well, what could I do to make myself feel comfortable? It's like now I say hi and it always brightens that person's day too. They're like, oh yeah, that girl's so friendly, nice. So that's just one simple example that caused a lot of stress and anxiety in my life that I overcame, and I'm sure a lot of people can resonate with that. Or walking down the street and seeing someone if you should say hi or not.
Speaker 2:And that brings up such a good thing in my mind that someone might not even identify that that makes them uncomfortable. So I think what you could push to as well is when do you disengage? When do you distract yourself? Because exactly what you just said about like getting in an elevator and like going on your phone and it's like you need to distract yourself right away Like that is also a cue of it's something that makes you uncomfortable, it gives you anxiety, it's like there's something that starts to like bubble up inside of you that you're like let me get into something else and defocus from this present situation that I'm in right now.
Speaker 1:Yep, yep, mindfully, moody Challenge, hot. Take Go on a date by yourself and leave your phone in your purse. Just make eye contact with people. Just make eye contact with people, smile, maybe read a book, like, don't go on your phone. I love that, though. It's such a good example of yeah, where are you trying to escape from the uncomfortable feeling that you could also use like food as an example, right, where are you trying to escape from uncomfortable situations? What is your escape and when are you using it, and why are you using it?
Speaker 2:Exactly so. That's your step two is like once you have your list of things that make you uncomfortable, things that you feel like you have to disengage from, then you can start to go deep into that and we're going to talk through examples in our life and show you how we use this process exactly to reverse engineer our own limiting beliefs, and that's going to help break it down for you. But you really need to use self-expression like whatever works for you, like okay, you realize I have this deep fear of speaking in front of other people or being seen in front of other people. Like you go to a group event and you instantly clam up. You can't share anything about yourself. The idea of sharing something about yourself makes you like, like, literally like just go like stone. You know why is that? What is the first memory that you remember? Experiencing that feeling Like what? And that might take a while for you to get to.
Speaker 2:This is not an overnight process, but using this and really implementing it frequently into your life is going to get that rapid identification that we're talking about and rapid healing.
Speaker 2:So maybe there was a time in your life that you were in kindergarten and everyone was sharing something and you were called out and you said something and everyone laughed at you. Whether or not you consciously remember that and whether or not that should have maybe quote unquote affected you in the way that it did, because our adult minds are like what? That's not that big of a deal, whatever, that was when your subconscious mind was being developed. You were a kid at that point, so you downloaded that, as when I'm in a group of people and I speak up, I have the risk of being made fun of. So this is what we're talking about. This is how self-doubt starts. This is how you get to the point where you even have limiting beliefs, right? So let's get into some of our personal examples and talk through how we realized, through our own behaviors, the root cause of where our self-doubt was coming from.
Speaker 1:Well, top of mind is public speaking for me, and I wanna preface this by saying like public speaking, for example, I think this makes a lot of people anxious, this makes a lot of people nervous. So it's for you to really decide like what is it an actual problem? Is this really over-consuming my life in an unhealthy way, or is this kind of normal? Yeah, I'm going to give a presentation and I'm going to be a little nervous because most people are nervous. Or, yeah, I'm going on a first date and I am a little nervous, but it's not debilitating. Where I'm shaking, I'm blacking out, I'm having all of these physical reactions to the fear. So I just want you to be aware of that. That nerves and all of that is normal.
Speaker 1:But for me, something that I still struggle with to this day is public speaking in front of people. It's definitely lessened from what I used to be, right, maybe like three years ago, since I've started to try to like tackle this behemoth of a fear. But it really started with me understanding, like, what feelings are coming up when I'm getting into this situation and what stories am I telling myself. So, if I have to go and present in front of a group of 20 people. What am I telling myself? That's going to happen, I'm going to mess up. People are going to think I'm dumb. People aren't going to understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:I start to come up with this list of beliefs that I have that if I do this thing, these things are going to happen. And for me it's creating that awareness of like, okay, what are the beliefs? And then, are those beliefs actually true? Are they actually going to come to life? If I totally bomb this, are people going to think I'm totally uneducated? Probably not. They're literally probably going to just forget about me the moment I leave the room. They're actually probably not even paying attention. They're probably on their phone.
Speaker 2:They're also disengaging because they're uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're in their own shit.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I think for me that's still I'm actively working on it right, I'm definitely more comfortable speaking in front of people, like I used to have that fear too of going to like women's circles, you know, and you have to like do an introduction around the circle or whatever at my co-working meetup, where I have to share who I am, what I do and like whatever what I'm working on, and so, like I notice in those moments it's a lot less stressful and relaxing because I'm like I know what I'm saying, I feel confident in myself, I feel secure in myself. Right, I don't have those stories show up as much anymore because I don't believe anymore that that worst case scenario is gonna happen. So I really think it's like thinking about what beliefs you have attached to that feeling of whatever that doubt is, and like is that true? And if you really do think it's true, explore that.
Speaker 1:But typically we can dismantle beliefs and say like okay, that's not true because of this, and like coming up with evidence of reasons why that belief isn't true, to kind of like reverse the belief and like rewire your subconscious to believe something else. A lot of times these things that hold us back are just subconscious beliefs that we learned when we were younger, right. So it's about us like creating that awareness about them, like seeing how we can change our belief to actually have a belief that actually works for us and where we want to go. So I'm actively working on this. Though this is, I mean, it's still scary, but we're calling in, speaking in front of thousands of people, mindfully, moody goes international baby.
Speaker 2:Yes, I love what you're saying about the belief system, because that is such a big part of our method is okay, what are these beliefs? And then debunking your own beliefs, right, and then that also allows you to get to okay, what are the root cause of these beliefs? So I'm curious what comes up for you in your journey of what is the potential root cause for this fear or this area of self-doubt?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it probably comes down to a couple of things, one being the fear of rejection. Right, that's like the deep, deep, deep-seated belief, right, I fear that people will reject me and therefore that means I'm not valuable, right, but that's not the case. But if I go back to it, right, that's from childhood. Right, that's when I was bullied, when I was in second grade and people called me fat and ugly and I had to get chosen on the playground and someone told me to move on the bus. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1:There's just an accumulation of all of these things where I felt rejected as a kid, or maybe I saw my parents feel rejected and I inherited that. I saw them feel like they weren't accepted in society at some point and that damaged their life, or I perceive that damaged their life, right. So I think that there are a ton of things that I could go and chase down the rabbit hole of, like, what specifically did that right in my childhood to make me have that fear of rejection? But I think that's like the underlying belief. It's like if people reject me, then like I'm not lovable, right, therefore I'm not valuable, which is total, complete bullshit. I'm not lovable, right, therefore I'm not valuable, which is total, complete bullshit. I'm valuable without anyone else's perspective or perception of me.
Speaker 2:Of course, and I think that it's such a beautiful process to get to all of these juicy nuggets of like why this came up and why this continues to show up and because, like we were saying at the beginning, it's an invitation to create more intention in that area of your life.
Speaker 2:Okay, that then exposes I struggle with this fear of rejection because I struggle with my own self-worth. So now I can start to integrate practices, activities, things in my life that are going to start to shift that feeling of low self-worth for myself, so that I can understand that I am inherently worthy and that people's opinions of me say more about them than they say about me. And then I can start to have less of a fear of public speaking because I'm not as connected to the fear of rejection and the opinions and judgments of others and the opinions and judgments of others. So I'm just trying to like round this all out for everyone listening, because this is like really the you know A to Z process. Okay, I have this fear of public speaking and now it comes from a fear of rejection and all these things, and now I know exactly where I need to start to fill my cup and all these things, and now I know exactly where I need to start to fill my cup.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I feel like it's like one, like step one, like curiosity, like getting curious about what that feeling is right, just like being open to it and then having the awareness going deeper and being like where does that maybe come from? Maybe why is that showing up? And then, yeah, going into the work, like, okay, I'm realizing that these things are here, they're present. How can I alchemize this? Right? What can I do to practices that I can do to feel love in this aspect of my life? Okay, I don't feel valuable. How can I put in the work now to make myself feel valuable, to see how much value I bring to the world? Right, and so it's like that's where, like, the real work comes. I feel like is like in the practices.
Speaker 1:Right, mindful practices, whether it is doing mind meditation, like dancing, like feminine embodiment, like journaling, like just really building yourself up in that specific area and rewiring your beliefs, rewiring your subconscious mind, until you have new beliefs that you're like oh my gosh, I'm so valuable, like I bring value to every single person's life. I touch right and that's possible, like if you're listening to this and you're like I will never be able to be that confident in myself. Yes, you can. It's practice and we're proof, because we've literally felt so bad about ourselves and we've done the practice and we continue. We're not by any means perfect in any of these areas, but we feel so much better because of the practices that we built ourself up so we can feel free in ourselves. I would love to know from your perspective, like what is something that you've maybe struggled with in the past, maybe some doubt that you felt, and give our listeners an example.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I. One of the biggest glaring places that I think was really affecting me is that I had so much struggle in my life to set boundaries, and this is like what I first started to realize, which allowed me to then start to go into like, okay, this is actually showing up in my life, this behavior, because I'm doubting myself. So I could not set boundaries with work, friends, guys. I was dating my family. I could not say no to people and not that I was like a pushover per se, but like I, cause I have always had a really strong personality, been very passionate and loud and expressive. However, I would agree to do things that I didn't want to do. I would say yes when I wanted to say no. I, in all different areas too, like literally in all different areas, like from you know, working, taking on projects that I didn't want to work on. That I was way overly worked and I needed a break, but I was like sure I'll do that. Yes, I'll do that, cause I could never say no, I could never disappoint people to agreeing to like I mean, I'm going to be like so real, like I mean I'm going to be like so real, like be intimate with people that I didn't want to be intimate with and agree to do things that I didn't want to do. But I was such like a people pleaser in that way that like I just did it anyway, you know. So I saw this show up in so many different ways in my life yeah, what is up with your camera, I don't know. Put your hand like literally all the way on it. Okay, god, yeah, there, okay.
Speaker 2:And what this exposed to me is that I was really struggling with my self-worth. So I started to understand okay, here I am, I'm people-pleasing, I'm sacrificing my own needs and desires and wants for other people because I don't believe that I'm valuable enough to prioritize myself. That was really what it was at the end of the day. I did not believe that I was valuable enough to prioritize what Sarah wanted to do, how Sarah wanted to behave, where Sarah wanted to go, when she wanted to go there. So I just literally allowed other people to make decisions for me.
Speaker 2:And this was a pretty glaring thing in my life, because I always thought of myself as like, oh, like, I'm a boss bitch and I make my own decisions and whatever. But as I started on my growth journey, I realized that that wasn't actually the case. I was kind of gaslighting myself into that because I wanted to be liked. So, as I started to, this was like exposed to me. You know, I started to understand, like okay, I mean very similar to what you were just talking about, and a lot of social things come from exactly what we're talking about, right? A deep fear of rejection, deep fear of judgment, deep fear of just not being accepted by others, and not being accepted by others by making my own decisions, right. So it's like if I was going to be super definitive in my decisions and authentic in my decisions and then other people didn't like me because of that, like that was like. That was like really terrible really terrible idea, you know, for me.
Speaker 2:So I was able to understand through all of my reflection around this that, okay, this comes from as well my childhood. I was pretty much always the outcast when I was a kid. I never really had like a long-term, super close-knit group of friends in my childhood, Like I was not super accepted by others. Obviously, now that I'm at the place that I am in my life, like I understand why, like cause, I just wasn't meant to be, like be. That just was my journey and it blossomed me into who I am today.
Speaker 2:But that wound is still raw in us as adults. So when I wasn't accepted I mean just like you was bullied on the bus or told by men that I was fat ugly, all of these things I mean men have literally in my childhood treated me like trash, like young kids, treated me terribly. So I downloaded all of those things and then created this belief that I was not worthy, that I was not worthy to make my own decisions, that I had to allow other people to decide things for me, because that would therefore allow me to be accepted by other people and then I would be happier in life, Like damn, you know.
Speaker 1:She's hitting it Like I. I love this example because I think so many people experience these, like people pleaser, you know, fear of rejection type beliefs, and just what's coming to mind is like us having boundaries with friends, like even you and I having boundaries with each other, like if I am not feeling like recording a podcast because I don't have energy, like in the past that would have overcame I would have had anxiety all night, being like I feel so guilty. I feel shame Gosh, he's probably mad at me. All these stories and now it's like well one, we have a really good friendship, so like we get it, we honor each other, which is like really important, but it's like now it's like that's a win, like hell, yeah, I just chose myself, like that's, that's, you know, it's just once.
Speaker 1:You can do that work on yourself and realize like there's no reason for me to feel guilty for prioritizing my needs and yeah, mean how many years we did that putting other people's emotions before in wellbeing before ourselves, like the whole thing. Like if our cup isn't full, we can't fill other people's cups up, right, so it's like prioritizing you and making sure that you're good first. Therefore, you can really show up in these different aspects and I love that. As we're older, we're just like this I do come first. I need to be good on my own, and if I don't want to do something, I'm not going to do that shit. And it takes time, and if people don't accept that, they're not for you Too effing bad, honestly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you're right, it totally takes time. It is a journey. So when I started realizing this right and then I started working on okay, I need to figure out how to set boundaries and then I started to set them, I experienced exactly what you're talking about. I would set the boundary and then I would have immense anxiety about setting the boundary, like, oh my God. Then you start like swirling all these stories that you're telling yourself and that is because you still have this neural pathway in your brain that is like I am not worthy of setting boundaries, so you have to keep practicing and practicing, and practicing before that anxiety starts to dissipate after you set the boundary Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it's also interesting to point this out about this specific example is the people who you are quote unquote disappointing your community is truly everything, because there are going to be people that when you choose yourself and you maybe need to cancel on a night that you made plans because you're just not feeling good or up to it, that people will get mad at you and will maybe talk shit to you or whatever, and one it's evaluate is that person a really good friend? Why aren't they understanding me? Should they be in your life? But I feel like when you take the value back in yourself and being like no, this is my decision, I know what I need and so confident in that Most of the time, people are going to respect you, you have to communicate it in a good way, right? Not being like no, like whatever. I don't want to hang out with you just because I don't want to hang out with you. Being like no, like.
Speaker 1:Honestly, Jessica, I don't know why that name came out Like, right now, I just don't have like the emotional capacity to go and hang out one-on-one for four hours. I love you so much. I would love to reschedule. There's a way of doing it, in a respectful way, of course, but there will be people who get mad at you and if they do, are you going to allow them to change how you feel about yourself? Are you going to stand firm on your decision and the needs that you currently have in the moment? And I feel like that's just on knowing yourself and knowing what you need and what you want in the moment and feeling confident in your decision-making, Because I know that some people can be like should I have done that?
Speaker 2:kind of thing, absolutely. And I think that what's so amazing about what you just said is that you can't even get to that point of enforcing these boundaries and getting to the point that we're talking about that we are at now where we're like, hell, yeah, we prioritize ourself and that feels so good, like we didn't just get here y'all, like we've been doing this work to get here to heal. Why we struggle so much to set boundaries, why we struggle to say no, struggle so much to set boundaries, why we struggle to say no, why we struggle to prioritize ourself? Because it takes yeah, it takes energy, it takes investment, it takes discovery of getting to the root cause. If you don't get to the root cause, how can you ever really heal anxiety? You can't. You know, because it's like you just keep telling yourself like the same story and awareness is everything. And awareness is a big piece of what we talk about in our course as well that in order to even get to self-acceptance, to self-love, like, you have to gather self-awareness, you have to embody self-awareness. So now, because I have done this healing work, like you have to gather self-awareness, you have to embody self-awareness. So now, because I have done this healing work you have done, this healing work.
Speaker 2:I notice, when I'm like prioritizing someone else's needs above my own and I'm like, okay, I'm seeing that I don't want to do this, like I agreed to go to this event and I don't want to go, and I'm still agreeing to go, why, why? And also I give myself permission. Like you know, this is a process Like, if I'm like really like no, sarah, you got to go, you committed to this and this is like you really got to do this. Like okay, sometimes I'll I'll for lack of a better way to say it force myself to go or I'll tell myself, like no, you need to do this because this is a commitment that you made. But there's also the flip side to that, where it's like no, when you start to notice that awareness like you can take your power back, like okay, great, I see that I'm giving my power away in this aspect and now I'm going to take it back and reschedule or say you know what? I know I agreed to watch your dog Sorry, that might be a you're like no, don't take that back. Watch your dog for a week and three months. But you know what, I don't know why I agreed to that so quickly. Like that's not actually something that I feel like I can energetically take on at that time. Like I have a lot going on with work at that time or whatever.
Speaker 2:Like you don't have to do these things that you agreed to or accept people in your life in the way that you used to Continue a relationship. I'm kind of going through this right now. I won't give too many details, but I'm going through this right now. I won't give too many details, but I'm going through this right now where I'm having to set boundaries with someone in my life. That's been in my life for a long time and it's hard for me, it's uncomfortable for me, but I've recognized that if I continue to show up for this person in the way that I have in the past, I am sacrificing my own wellbeing and I am not in a place in my life where I am willing to sacrifice my wellbeing anymore. Just because past version of Sarah did doesn't mean current version of Sarah has to.
Speaker 1:Mic drop period, point blank. I feel like, yeah, it just like this question came to my mind. It's like do I respect myself enough to adhere this boundary? Like what was coming up is like a guy inviting someone over on the first night to their house it's like I love.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like, okay, I don't want to. I could people please that person. But I know that that is a boundary and if I break that boundary, who am I disrespecting here? This guy's getting whatever. I'm disrespecting myself. So I feel like it's like this level of respect for yourself to put yourself first and to adhere to those boundaries. But, yeah, I think, with whatever doubt you're experiencing, whatever negative feelings are coming up, whatever is stealing your peace, there is a way to figure it out, to dissect it, to create awareness around it and to find solutions to feel better. That is the whole reason we're doing this podcast. This episode specifically, is because we felt like we were in jail and we wanted to feel free inside, internally, and these tools are going to help you tap into that freedom energetically and free yourself from these things that are weighing you down. Because we do not have time for it. We need to spend our energy on different things.
Speaker 2:Yes, we have been where you are. Where you are in a cycle of self-hatred, self-judgment, self-doubt, constantly questioning yourself, constantly thinking about the past version of you and the mistakes that you made and the circumstances that you wish could have been different, and all of the people that let you down and being mad at them and blaming them and having resentment. We have been in all of those places and we have come out the other side through this work, through using our formula on how to heal our anxiety, heal our self-doubt, so that we can create the lives that we dream of. And if you go back to 2022, Sarah and Hannah starting Mindfully Moody and you come and listen to this episode, you will hear the progress.
Speaker 1:We definitely will.
Speaker 2:So you will hear the progress, y'all. You will hear the progress.
Speaker 1:If you guys are like yes, yes, hell, yes, that's me. Our self-love program is going to help you dismantle these beliefs and overcome this self-doubt that holds you back. We literally have a 15 video course, a 73-page workbook, a community. So if you guys are interested in going deeper on this work, drop down in the show notes, click the sales page, check it out, because I think it might really help you overcome this feeling.
Speaker 2:Yes. Also, if you are doing the work right now, you are on your journey and you are ready for the next level. I also just want to drop this to you I am hosting with one of my other great friends, danielle, a women's retreat this year in December, december 11th through the 17th, in Mexico, the jungle outside of Cancun. It is going to be epic.
Speaker 2:So, epic, so transformative. It's called the Awaken Woman Retreat. There is more details in the show notes, so go to the website, go to the application. We are having a very intimate group of women. It's only 16 women, so our spots are filling fast. If you want to connect with me about it, reach out to me on social media. My Instagram and TikTok are in the show notes as well.
Speaker 1:And, yeah, Thank you guys for listening. We love you so much and we can't wait to see you next week. Bye, Moody Gang. So much and we can't wait to see you next week. Bye.
