It's OKAY To Be SAD About Growing Up: Navigating Growth, Transition, and Personal Transformation

Have you ever felt like life's ever-changing currents are both a source of excitement and a daunting force? Sara and I tackle this head-on, extending a heartfelt thank-you to our loyal Mindfully Moody listeners and delving into the authenticity that's defined our journey since January 2022. This episode is a heartfelt exploration of life's twists and turns, from the evolving dynamics of dating to the personal milestones that shape us—like my own walk down the aisle. We share our thoughts on why it's crucial to stay true to oneself amidst societal pressures and how the dance between the feminine and masculine energies is reshaping relationships.

Wrestling with the concept of adulthood and its myriad responsibilities, we reflect on the nostalgia of youth and the importance of maintaining joy and freedom. I open up about the emotions swirling around my upcoming wedding, and together, we ponder on how to balance the sweetness of life's celebrations with the inevitable growth and challenges that accompany these transitions. This episode isn't just about looking back; it's about embracing the present and the beautiful complexities that come with evolving into the people we're meant to be.

As we venture into the thick of life's initiations, this conversation becomes a beacon for anyone navigating the deep waters of personal transformation. Whether you are starting a new venture, stepping into a relationship, or facing any of life's pivotal moments, we share insights on treating these experiences as lessons in disguise. We stress the importance of self-compassion and encouraging our listeners to view these challenges as stepping stones to align with their highest selves. Join us in embracing the growth and potential that every new chapter brings, knowing that through it all, you're not alone.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Hey, all you girls and guys out there, welcome back to Mindfully Moody. We are back with another episode this week and I just want to start off by saying thank you guys. If you guys have been riding with us since 2022, january, we appreciate you, we love the support and Sarah and I continue to truck along making these episodes, connecting when we're feeling inspired and bringing you the hot topics that we are currently experiencing in our life. So thank you guys for supporting us, listening to us and riding with us on this podcast journey. We love you and we're excited to have this episode today.

Speaker 2: 0:44

I love that we really always do record stuff that we're inspired about in the moment, like we don't just really even pull from a list.

Speaker 1: 0:53

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 0:54

We literally check in and say what are you going through now, what should we record on? And I feel like that just really sparks so much authenticity and it feels more relatable and for people to be able to connect with us, because not not every place in media is like that. Now it's not all authentic and real and honest and speaking from current life experience, so I love that about us.

Speaker 1: 1:23

Same and like it's funny just to notice themes like themes that come up. Obviously, we've been talking about dating a lot. I've also had some people DM me about our episodes and be like girl, I'm going through this too. I love that you were doing all of the polls and stuff on Instagram too to get like people's feedback, but it seems like a lot of people are resonating with that the dating stuff as well.

Speaker 2: 1:50

I know people are really connecting to that and I love it because it's an important topic to talk about, especially what we talked about in our episode this past week. Go listen if you haven't yet. It's about so many things in dating but we talk about is the feminine evolving more rapidly than the masculine? Just digging into why women are experiencing what they are right now in dating, why it seems like men aren't able to rise to the standards that women desire to have in a partner these days. Like I just think that this discussion is so important and, by the way, when I, when I did the poll on Instagram about our men uh, or is the feminine evolving more rapidly than the masculine?

Speaker 2: 2:41

men also voted that it is truth, and I actually had guys message me like sending encouragement to what we were talking about, so like clearly it's resonating also with the masculine which is really actually super interesting to think about, right? I love that.

Speaker 1: 3:01

I love that I was also thinking about oh did, did you get my TikTok that I sent you? Sorry, now we're just going a little bit off topic, but it's not really. Did you get that TikTok that I sent you about the girl that went on the horrible date?

Speaker 2: 3:14

Yes, wait, I watched part one and part two.

Speaker 1: 3:18

Okay. So it made me like, get inspired, like I feel like we should bring this on the podcast. It could be a cool format of playing the audio and being like, okay, where did this girl go wrong? This girl, essentially this girl went on a horrible date with this guy who was literally calling her names, making her plan the date. It was really bad and a lot of times I think the women are quick to be like this man is shitty, blah, blah, blah. But it's like this girl allowed that time and time and time again, which doesn't make any excuse for the men. But you are the one putting yourself in that situation and I thought that would be a cool format of play this audio and be like, ok, what would we do if we were in this situation?

Speaker 2: 4:02

I love that and I had a lot of empathy for this girl as I was watching the video, because I have 100% done shit like this in my past, same Buying the tickets to the hockey game, like what is happening here, like gone on the date, when there have been so many red flags even before you step on to the date, like, yeah, she man, I felt for her.

Speaker 2: 4:29

I felt for her because she was just trying to connect with someone you know and she didn't prioritize herself, her own desires, her own boundaries, and she ended up getting essentially walked all over by this guy and thank goodness she cut it off after the first date. But a lot of women are getting walked on like that in relationships for years, yep, so this is why it's important to start talking about this more. And her name was sarah. Shout out, sarah, some love Girl. I hope she's finding her man right now, yeah, or finding herself.

Speaker 1: 5:12

Well, we'll maybe do a little episode like that in the future. But I feel like the dating topics we could just continue to talk about, and I'm grateful that you are interested in talking about it too, since it's your whole ass getting married in one month.

Speaker 2: 5:28

We're so exciting. One month from today, whoa.

Speaker 1: 5:33

Oh my gosh, june 15th. So let's shift a little bit. Instead of talking about dating, we're going to talk a little bit about maybe getting married, shifting into new identities. How are you feeling with this kind of single era coming to an end and you stepping into your wifey, mommy, energy?

Speaker 2: 5:58

Oh, my God, it's so crazy. I wanted to talk about this topic because there are so many shifts going on in my life. I mean, even over the past year, shifting and growing and changing. Leaving San Francisco, coming here that was a big part of my identity, being in California, being, you know, in this different lifestyle than I am now, and now I'm getting married and there's so much joy and love and just incredible magical, powerful energy that come with making shifts in your life. And that's talked about a lot.

Speaker 2: 6:40

But what isn't talked about, I feel, is the periods where you go through grieving, where you go through sadness in some ways, where you go through these just emotions that are not super light, airy, joyful, right, and I feel like society tells us, like you should, you shouldn't have any fears about doing x, y and z, or you shouldn't have any um, maybe fear isn't the right word. Well, no, you can use fear. But also like you shouldn't have any sadness or whatever you want to call it, whatever emotion feels relevant to you when you go into new periods of your life. But the thing is that we do. Yeah, so, as I'm stepping into this place of being a wife, being, hopefully, a mother and in the somewhat near future, I am leaving behind other parts of myself that I'm OK with leaving behind because I know this is the next aligned step in my life, but I still do have some Feelings about it, you know totally.

Speaker 1: 7:54

Gosh, I'm so happy that we're talking about this topic because it's it's so true Like it's this mourning of the past, like even though you know you'll be married and when I think married and then kids is two very different mornings it feels like you know, yeah, because when you're married it's like okay, you could still kind of do that stuff that you did. You know what I mean. You can still go on bachelorette trips, go on trips with your friends, like still do your own thing, exactly what you've been doing in the relationship. But it's just like obviously a more of a commitment, I think. But I think when you have kids, like that's like also a big change because it's like then you now you kind of have to like be home with the kids and you want to be home with the kids and the energy you know yeah, and it's. I didn't even bring this up to you, but it's interesting from my side too Because like it's not to make this about me, but like it's also a more.

Speaker 1: 8:53

It's like not a mourning, but it's me also accepting a change of like you, yeah, I was thinking about this on your bachelorette trip, like, where there was a sadness, like obviously I'm so fucking happy for you to get married and I'm so excited for you to have kids and all that, but it's like we're not going to be, you know, headbanging at Red Rocks anymore, and I mean never, say never, and like that, because, like we're not going to be able to live that, you know, like what we did in our twenties, which was such a beautiful experience, but like now, it's like a new level of joy and a new level, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 9:28

Like one day, like when our husbands get to meet, like that's going to be like a newfound level of joy that probably is going to feel even better than us. Like partying at a concert, you know. Or like doing those things that we did in our 20s. Or like the moment like our babies get to meet, really calling it in here don't even have a boyfriend, but you know, like those are like different levels that we haven't even experienced yet. So, just like I wanted to share that from a friend perspective of, but I know how much yeah, like you're probably experiencing just even going through this shift yourself.

Speaker 2: 10:11

Yeah, I get that. I get that so much from your perspective too, because I would feel the same way.

Speaker 2: 10:14

You know, it's like you, it's hard to I don't totally know how to say it but it's like, yeah, your, your priorities shift, your priorities change you know, and I think that, of course, when you have kids, oh my God, your priorities drastically, drastically change because they have to, and when you decide that you want to be a parent and that's a life choice that you want to take, you're signing up for that and it's beautiful and incredible. But I will be like low-key, forever, mourning my 20s in San Francisco, like getting up on a Saturday and going to meet you at Golden Gate Park and you know, then getting ready to go out for the night no, I'm literally gonna cry.

Speaker 1: 10:58

I'm literally crying, I know like literally me hopping on the bus.

Speaker 2: 11:05

Come meet you down at polk I know like let's go shopping today, like, all right, we're gonna get on the bus, go down to union square, get in the mall, hit forever 21, let's get it going. See a guy you went on a date with last night get it going.

Speaker 1: 11:20

See a guy you went on a date with last night Forever 21. I will be for.

Speaker 2: 11:29

Oh my God. And then we really got sick of that place at one point, like there was just like a turn off where, like we can't do this shit anymore, heading upstairs, third floor plus side section hidden in the back. Clearance Discount because we broke.

Speaker 2: 11:44

What are we gonna? What are we gonna wear tonight? I need a new bomber jacket the green, the green jackets that I sent you on tiktok from 2016 literally so many pictures in it with the lipstick, the challenges and I have just accepted that those were some of the best times in my life, like going on trips with my friends, all the amazing things that we've done together, amazing us in Europe. Like I'm, I will forever be mourning that kind of having that kind of energy. Yeah, and that experience, you know, and it's normal, I mean, I still like me.

Speaker 2: 12:39

Me leaving San Francisco was a big mourning of not even just my experience of being in San Francisco at that point or being in Oakland at that point, but it took me back to, you know, like us being together there and being with my other friends, it being with Reza in the early stages of our relationship. Every the last probably 10 times that I went into San Francisco from Oakland before I moved, I cried Like, just of like feeling like the sadness of those times in my life not still being here.

Speaker 1: 13:10

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 13:10

You know, and like that is so real. Yeah, we are allowed to feel that.

Speaker 1: 13:16

I feel like yeah, this just a lot of people can relate to this of like wanting to go back to the good old days, like I was thinking about this, like the first time I went to a festival, the first time I went to a festival, like with my sister, and like the energy that I felt, like the freedom and flexibility and like how young we were, like even like us thinking back to us, like you know, during the pandemic and like you know us, like going and running around Oakland like we were, just like all we had to worry about was ourselves. And that still is me. I still am kind of in that life. All I have to worry about is myself right now, but like there was something so much more free and like new, like there was all of these new experiences and we're never gonna experience that same newness again. And I think, yeah, that it, it. It's.

Speaker 1: 14:04

It's hard to describe why it feels so sad of the past. I think, maybe because, like, you're not gonna get those experiences with those people ever again, like you're just gonna have different. Yeah, but it's like I do, I agree. It's like, oh my god, I would do anything to like go back to, like that first night we moved into our apartment, uh, like in lower pack heights, you know what I mean. Like us, like drinking wine, like building furniture, like that, like moment, like the core memory. Us spilling wine on the ground, like, like that's such a memory of literally living young, wild and free in our heart. So young, so new, working in corporate, making our first dollar dollar bills. Oh my God, why am I?

Speaker 2: 14:48

so sad.

Speaker 2: 14:50

I know, I know it's just crazy to think about those times and that they feel it like they feel so close yet they feel so far away.

Speaker 2: 15:03

You know, and I think that the reason that we do feel this kind of mourning or grieving is because there were so many emotional experiences that happened during that time there was. It was such a growth period in our lives. We were defining who we are, we were creating our identities, we were finding people that fit with our new identities. You know, like you and I coming together and just clicking so instantly and becoming close so instantly, it's like I always think of making friends, like in my adult life is like you're finally making friends that you really truly connect with, you really truly want to be friends with, versus like when you're a kid and it's just circumstantial and situational. And you know, and I think that as you get pulled into new areas of your life, it just feels like a I don't know like, not like a breakup, but like there is this just energetic shift that happens. That is like OK, we're going this direction now.

Speaker 2: 16:17

Yeah we're not going this direction anymore and I think that, as someone who's such a feeler and I know you are too like that can be hard to mentally, emotionally, physically integrate with sometimes, you know.

Speaker 1: 16:32

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 16:32

And it feels like you're losing something in a way, even when you're gaining things in other ways.

Speaker 1: 16:39

Totally. Yeah, I think about this a lot too, like, just like as I'm now in my thirties, of like what should a 30 year old be doing, kind of thing. Like you, like sometimes I'm like, am I still? I can't believe that I'm 32, but it's like, am I doing things that a 32 year old should be doing? Like okay, you know, if I, for example, if I'm going out or I'm going to concerts, still like, there's sometimes parts of me that's like I feel like I should kind of give up those things because I'm older now.

Speaker 1: 17:12

And I feel like society kind of tells us, like you know you have to grow up and like those things aren't like really growing up. Tells us, like you know you have to grow up and like those things aren't like really growing up. But then I'm like in this and this is making me think about, like you know, you turning over a new chapter and you becoming married and having kids and stuff, and it's like I feel like the idea that society says is kind of like you have to grow up and stop like leave those things behind, like those quote-unquote fun things. But it's like why do we have to? I can't listen to music and like go have fun when I'm in my 30s, like I can't go out for a cocktail, like with my friend, you know, and it's like. So I feel like I have this thing too. That's like you need to give up those things because you need to grow up. It's like you're 32. I feel so young still, like my mom at my age.

Speaker 2: 17:56

Because you are.

Speaker 1: 17:57

True, true. My mom at my age literally had like I had to been like six or seven and my sister was like nine. You know, it's just crazy to see like where we are and now I'm literally independent, like doing my own thing. But yeah, so I kind of battle with this where it's like I'm ready to kind of move on to that next step, like that elevation as well, but then it's like I'm ready to kind of move on to that next step, like that elevation as well, but then it's like I feel like I'm still aligned with doing the things. So you know what I'm saying, it's like you don't have to give up parts of your life if you don't want to.

Speaker 2: 18:31

No, you should never do what society wants you to do. You know, it's like whatever feels aligned to you If going to concerts and doing, you know, whatever going to I mean, my mom goes to cocktails with her friends by the way, she's 67. But you know it's like, if those things make you feel good, that's what matters. That's what matters, and we don't have to be subscribing to some societal thing just because we feel like we're meant to grow up when we get older or whatever. You know, and I think that sometimes people do also grieve parts of their past because maybe they did step into something too rapidly or leave something too rapidly, you know too rapidly. You know like, I think, that if you're in a place in your life that you're feeling like something is jarring, like you're, you're really wishing for the past. You know, I think that there's some reflection that could be done in that, but with the caveat that it's also normal, like we're talking about.

Speaker 1: 19:36

You know, I don't think that I moved too rapidly or shifted too rapidly, but I still think that you know that could be the experience that some people go through yeah, yeah, I feel like also for, like, when someone is getting married right, like in your case, like it is just an energetic shift of like going from like single to divine union, to partnership, and it's like your energy is more, even though your energy was in it. When you're a fiance, when you're in a relationship, it's more like okay, this is lifetime, this is like eternity if you will together, and it's like now your energy, it's like that person comes first now and he probably does already, but like really probably comes first in every single aspect of your life at this point, like with marriage, like what do you think are some of the energetic shifts that you're going you're experiencing right now?

Speaker 2: 20:38

well, I think that whenever you go into a really big new period of your life it could be something like marriage, it could be like starting your own business, it could be moving across the country. Whatever it is I think that you go through a sort of like initiation process and this is something that I've been thinking a lot about of the universe is preparing you for whatever you are about to experience. So things are going to be illuminated that maybe haven't been illuminated before. You're going to have challenges that maybe you haven't had as challenges before. There's going to be just things that sort of get shaken up, to be exposed, to be brought to the light before you take the next step in your life or while you're taking the next step in your life.

Speaker 2: 21:29

So for me, in stepping into marriage divine union I definitely see that happening.

Speaker 2: 21:37

I definitely see myself getting I mean a lot of things illuminated about myself, about my own role in my relationship and about, you know, our dynamic things getting exposed there that I feel like are just showing me areas of growth that are needed, things that you know I desire to change in myself becoming a wife, because you're right Like obviously I've been very committed being a fiance to someone.

Speaker 2: 22:06

We've been in a relationship a long time, we've lived together a long time, but it's a new level of commitment.

Speaker 2: 22:12

It's a new level, it's a new era of your life, it's a new timeline that you're moving into, you know. So I'm definitely seeing the things where, like, I prioritize you know, maybe other people sometimes before I prioritize him, or you know, I'm really clocked in, locked in on the things that I have going on in my life. I have so many passions, I have so many ideas, and that definitely is something that takes a lot of my time and energy. That is therefore then taking time and energy away from my partner. I've been seeing that I'm not maybe showing up as present and as what's the right way to say it as present and like emotionally available as I desire to. So I just feel like I'm going through all of these illuminating experiences right now, and they're not doubts, they're not like questioning, but it's like, hey, hi, the universe, you know, it's letting me know where I need to make shifts so that I can step into being the best wife that I can possibly be, that we can step into being the best couple that we can be.

Speaker 1: 23:36

Couple feels like not even of all. I just want to um, appreciate your willingness to share that on the podcast. That like it's not all rainbows and butterflies, that things are coming up, because that is so fucking real and I know a lot of people experience that, of course, like when people are stepping into marriage and there's stress of the wedding, there's things that come up, triggers like, oh my God, I'm going to be with this person the rest of my life, fears, like all of that. So like I just appreciate you sharing that openly and also I just love and honor how intentional and aware you are of things that are coming up and just like recognizing it. I think it's such a beautiful reflection to be like how do I want to show up in this marriage?

Speaker 1: 24:24

I think the shift is such an opportunity to be like, okay, what kind of partner do I want to be? What kind of wife do I want to be? How do we want to set the tone? And really that energetic shift of going from boyfriend to fiance to partner. We're a team. Now we are one like we are one. You know you're at family events Someone's coming at, like your partner, it's like you're coming at me or you know I'm taking a trip Okay, are we taking a trip? I'm building a business Okay, we're building a business together. Like moving into that. Of course there's independence too, but like that's like, yeah, that's like partnership for life, and I think like setting up that foundation at the start is like a beautiful thing to do, right, something that you can like, nurture and grow. And you know, with the sadness, with the grief, there's always beauty that comes with it. It's like the balance, you know.

Speaker 2: 25:20

It's such a balance. It's such a balance. It's such a balance, you know, and I know, that as I enter, continue to enter new eras of my life, as you continue to enter new eras of your life, like the initiation process will continue. Yeah, you know, right before I'm about to get pregnant or when I get pregnant, I know there will be like a whole nother initiation of being initiated into being a mother and that, those kinds of qualities and those kinds of experiences, you know, I'm sure childhood wounds will show up, triggers will show up for both myself and Reza.

Speaker 2: 25:55

And you know, I think, entering a new relationship, like you, when you meet your partner, like, think, you know, it's like it all just keeps going. I mean me planning, planning the retreat. I know that there's about to be so many initiations, spiritual initiations that happen with that and challenges and that's like a big takeaway that I feel like I want people to take from this episode is that when you are going to upgrade, shift, enter new, show up not to upset you, harm you or hurt you, but to teach you of what you're going to experience in this next stage in your life and I think that the universe rewards you for overcoming these challenges or tests or initiations that are placed in your path.

Speaker 1: 26:59

Yeah, I know for me. I've definitely experienced a lot of initiations in life. Right, yeah, in business. I'm going through an initiation right now where it's like I literally wanted to just give up on everything. And then the universe is like test, test, test, test. Can you make it through? Can you find more clarity in your purpose, what it is that you want to do? You know like constantly pushing me and I in relationships. I can't wait to be in a relationship to get tested. It's like you're all fine and dandy and healed until when you're single and then you're entered in a relationship and the initiation has begun. Yes, right, so many tests to see like, okay, really, how are you healed? What can we heal further?

Speaker 1: 27:42

I think I love this concept of initiations because it's just exactly tests to help you become a better person. And when you are in that initiation time, it's like how can we see it? Rather than like, oh, this is a bad thing, this is shitty, this, why is why me victim mode to like what is this here to teach me? Like just coming from that loving, mindful lens of like this is here to show me something to guide me on my path further. Thank you, thank you for sending this to me, but also like fuck you for sending it to me. Sometimes it's okay to be pissed. Tune into the next episode where we talk about emotions. But yeah, initiations, they're beautiful. They're going to be continued to come in every up leveling in your life. They don't stop. So bring them on, baby, let's get challenged.

Speaker 2: 28:34

I love it. I love the shift of into. How is this going to up level me? How is this going to align me deeper with my purpose, with my highest self, with my soul, with that energy that is so pure and real and honest inside of me? That is pulling me into more awareness about the difference between my ego and my mind and my highest self you know, because that is a big initiation that I'm experiencing right now too.

Speaker 2: 29:08

You know, when you are in a relationship, they're getting in. The ego is par for the course. Like you will want to stay the victim in a fight, you will fight to stay the victim. Danielle said something to me the other day and now I'm like am I gonna remember it perfectly? Something about um, the ego will fight to divide us, even from our divine partner, even from our best friend, even from our mom, even from the closest people in our lives. Your ego will fight to divide you.

Speaker 2: 29:46

And that is such a big thing that I think happens in initiations new career, new relationship, marriage, having a kid, whatever it is and having the understanding of that is like, so powerful. You know because that is just natural in all of us, that the ego wants to separate us. It wants to keep us as the one on top. It wants to say, no, I'm prettier, I'm better, I'm smarter. That's what makes it feel good, you know. So, having that recognition, as you're going through these initiations as well, that you are not alone, recognize your ego. Remember, when you're stepping you think you're stepping in your power, but you're actually stepping away from your power when you lean into that beautifully said all right.

Speaker 1: 30:40

Thank you guys for listening. We hope whatever Beautifully said All right, thank you guys for listening. We hope, whatever season you're going through in this life, that you can see these initiations as a way to grow and expand in your life and, as you go through them, be kind to yourself, love yourself, and we love you. Thank you guys so much for listening and we'll see you next time. Bye, bye.