Dating Challenges | Is the feminine collective evolving more rapidly than the masculine?

We have a HOT episode for you today, as we discuss something that feels rampant in the feminine collective right now. The feminine collective is up against a lot right now with romantic relationships. As a sisterhood collective, we're having challenges finding aligned romantic partners, men that truly rise to meet us where we are at. 

Have you ever felt like a powerhouse in your career but found yourself disempowered in love? We see you. We feel you. And we're not shying away from the tough conversations about the gap between our deep ideals and standards of divine union and the stark truths of modern dating (Tinder anyone?).

There is major tension happening right now between men and women. We feel that the feminine collective is evolving at a much more rapid rate than the masculine collective, leaving us wondering where we are going to meet a man that will rise to meet us. A man that will empower, lead with his heart, be the sacred masculine container to our divine feminine desires. 

As spiritual women, we can also become mystified by what feels like (or is) a "spiritual connection" in the beginning of a relationship, and we end up hurt as it progresses, feeling misled by not only the man we've been dating, but also by our own intuition. 

In our heart-to-heart, we circle around the beacon of self-love, illuminating its crucial role in attracting a love that fulfills and uplifts. We muse on the delicate dance of HOLDING our standards while remaining open to the deeper,  meaningful connections that pave the way to truly divine partnerships.

You don't want to miss this episode if you are a single woman. Join us to feel like you're in on our chit-chat, while feeling supported, seen, and heard. 

WE WANT TO HEAR YOUR DATING STORIES! Share them with us on social- IG @mindfullymoody_ and TikTok @mindfullymoody

https://www.mindfully-moody.com/ for more info on us.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hello, hello and welcome back to Mindfully Moody. It's your girl, hannah, joined by Sarah, and we are back with another juicy episode of Mindfully Moody. We missed you guys and we hope you are doing amazing. Let's get into the tea, the juice, if you will.

Speaker 2: 0:21

Let's get into the tea. Give me the tea, okay. Okay, we're fired up right now because we were just talking about relationships and we got some shit to say. Okay, we got some shit to say because I feel like I am witnessing so many women in the collective right now becoming disempowered through their relationships with men. I'm seeing this on social media, I'm seeing this in my own friend group, in my own community, and I think we really need to talk about it.

Speaker 2: 0:59

As women who are leaders, spiritual feminine queens, women who understand their purpose, who are in their purpose, who are living their purpose, we are still, at times, getting into relationships and allowing men into our lives that are disempowering us. And like I want to talk about why, I want to talk about just all of the juiciness of this, like what we feel about this, how this happens, like just really get into it, because this is important. You know, as spiritual women, divine union is something that I know that we all desire. We believe that it's out there. We want to find a partner that we can take on this human life with. We want to find someone that we have a soul connection with, and then sometimes that clouds our judgment as well. So, like we're just gonna, we're gonna see what comes up and let it flow.

Speaker 1: 2:04

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 2:05

And yeah, way to way to drop that and so many things are just coming up as you're speaking in that whoa, divine union. I long for a divine union that it's just like a beautiful word. I'm like I can't wait to have that masculine, loving man in my life. But I'm gonna start off with a little well story-ish. But I'm seeing like so many women on social media having the same story, that, like the, we have these standards that we want for a man, the person that we're dating, the person that we desire to bring in our life, and it just seems like all of these dating stories that I'm hearing, none of these men are matching up to what we want so real man, so real it's, it's and I don't want to say like all men, because I know there are so many amazing, incredible humans out there that are ready for aligned relationships, but it has me questioning, like why are so many women experiencing the same thing from these men?

Speaker 2: 3:15

I think the feminine collective is just so much more rapidly evolving than the masculine collective and I think that we're at this crossroads of women wanting, desiring, craving this man that can rise up and reach them where they are at, and the male collective is just not stepping into that. Maybe they're not ready, they don't understand. There is just some sort of major tension right now happening between women and men, and I literally see it everywhere I go. I feel like like this is definitely a big thing that's happening yeah, yeah, it just.

Speaker 1: 4:08

And what I'm observing in my direct life and online, it's like it feeling like women have these standards, they have these ideas of who they want to be with. They go on dates, they date people. A lot of times, what I'm hearing is like men are ghosting, men are backing off and these women are like what the hell? Like what happened A lot of times, because maybe these men don't think that they are maybe available for that woman, or maybe they're not worthy enough. Right, there's all these various reasons why these men are ghosting or backing off, but it seems like the women are marching. A lot of women are marching towards like wanting relationship, wanting a fam, wanting to have a family, wanting to have an aligned partnership, like the relationship that has balanced polarity, like all of this, these things, and it's like they're having a hard time like locking in and actually finding a solid partner that's going to give them that sense of commitment.

Speaker 1: 4:59

And that's definitely what I'm seeing in my own life. It just seems like I'm and and it's I'm wondering if I'm repeating like old, like patterns, even of the people I'm dating, or it's just been a couple of flukes, but it's like the last person I dated, was so directionless, was like it's like, why are you asking me on a date? You know what I want and then, like you're not following up, you're not creating dates. You're like sending me flirty, like jokey texts, like I literally had to be. Like what? What direction are we going in? Like it feels so empowering to stand up and be like this is my boundary. I'm intentionally dating. What are you like? What do you want to do with this situation? Like are you even? Are you, are you down to go for further? Are you down to? Like are you good? No, like why are you even? Are you, are you down?

Speaker 2: 5:44

to go for further. Are you down to like? Are you good?

Speaker 1: 5:46

no, like, why are you even signing up for this? Like you're literally 33 years old, like, grow up, like yeah you're a little boy, you're like it's so weird that, like even you think it would get better with age, but it seems like it's getting worse.

Speaker 2: 6:02

Honestly sorry, I'm like going all over the place no, but like it's good, bring it up, talk that, talk. Yeah. Yeah, there is a major just opposing direction. You're right. Women are moving towards I'm ready for divine union, I'm ready to find my sacred partner, and men are like I don't know what the hell I'm ready for. I know I was told that I needed to go and get married. I know that I was told this, but I don't know who I am yet. I'm probably in a job that I don't even really like. And do I even like my friends? I don't know. Like, what's going on.

Speaker 2: 6:47

Like there's so many men that are just stuck in this sphere of fear and doubt and questioning. And because of this major misalignment, I feel like it's leading women who are conscious, who are in their power, in their purpose, living their dream life, to get disempowered and settle for these men because they're struggling to find a man that feels super aligned to them. So they're kind of like manipulating themselves into believing that they're finding that guy because he shows up really good in the beginning and whatever, but it's like it's not actual truth. And then all of a sudden she's like oh shit, this guy lied to me and like now I'm too far in. And then there's all of these things. Now I'm disempowered, now I don trust myself. Why did I end up with this person? How did I get here? Like what the hell is going on? And it's actually bringing the female collective down as well, because we're allowing men to put that doubt into our mind, because we do seek that partner so much. So there's just so many cycles happening at once.

Speaker 1: 8:03

Yeah, and it's hard. It is. It is very hard to watch and to observe and to be part of it. I'm seeing like three things happening. It's like you are dating people, you're going on repeated dates and you continue to be disappointed. And then some people retreat. They're like I'm sick of this, I'm like just gonna give up, like maybe I just am not gonna have a person. Then there's people who is continuing down this pattern. They're dating people who aren't. They're like I'm sick of this, I'm like just going to give up, like maybe I just am not going to have a person.

Speaker 1: 8:31

Then there's people who is continuing down this pattern. They're dating people who aren't committing ghosting, having bad communication, all of that. And then maybe they just are like okay, I'm just going to settle for that person, right, I'm just going to go in that relationship. And then there's the people who are like the trust right and that's where I'm at right now is like trusting again, like in God of, like this has maybe just been like a bad batch, like praying, hoping, like staying strong in my boundaries, staying strong in the values and the things that I desire, and thinking it almost as a numbers game. Just haven't found that right person and actually waiting it out. But I mean it's totally fine for people to be in any category, because I get it Like I understand. I mean of course you don't want to settle for someone, but like I understand why someone would. Because people get fed up. People are like I'm getting older, like maybe I am too picky, like maybe this person is good enough, and then they end up not being happy in the long run. Right, because they're sacrificing actually the things that they do desire because they want to be with a person.

Speaker 1: 9:23

But I also think that dating apps aren't helping at all.

Speaker 1: 9:28

I think dating apps have made it even worse, because there's this concept that there's thousands and thousands and thousands of people out there Like, oh, I go on a date with this person five times and they don't have this one piece that I would like.

Speaker 1: 9:42

I'll just move on to the next girl. I think it also makes us a little um, I don't know if like complacent is not not like the opposite of complacent, like there's so many options that like I'm just gonna throw this one to the side because there's gonna be another one, like I think also people are moving through because they're always looking for like the greener grass on the other side, yeah, if that makes sense, and I feel like dating apps have made it harder, right, we don't even really go up to people and connect in person anymore. We're afraid of rejection because we can do it all online and it hurts less, like a hundred percent. It's sad and I hope that there's an uprise and a change, because people just want love, people just want to experience that love and it's seemed more challenging than ever.

Speaker 2: 10:30

I know, I know and I see just so many women going through this, so many women I mean even women that as spiritual entrepreneurs, you know we follow women with big platforms entrepreneurs. You know we follow women with big platforms, women that, like you look at that are like how could she not have the aligned spiritual guy? You know? Like how could she not have met her man that, like she has such access to high value men? What's? Why can't she even find it?

Speaker 2: 11:02

You know, so like there's just like all of these things that I think infuse doubt Into our minds and there's a lot of illusion In the world. You know, there's a lot of illusion. I feel like men in our generation, above our generation, generation above us and below, have just such deeper access to illusion than maybe men did before because of the internet and just being able to mislead people in an easier way, you know, and I feel like men are subconsciously seeing this upgrade that the women are going through on this planet and then they feel like, oh well, I have to make sure that I'm showing some sort of illusion that aligns with this. You know, desire that whatever women at large want now and they're able to, like create this sphere of illusion for the women that they meet, until all of a sudden, the bottom falls out and it's like the illusion, the bubble burst. You know you can't be fake forever.

Speaker 2: 12:21

And then there's this whole like disempowerment thing happening for women. So it's just, there's so many layers and I really feel like, as women, we need to trust ourselves more, we need to lean into this. We have access to this incredible, magical, powerful, all-knowing intuition. Every single one of us have access to this and I know that all of my girlfriends that have ever been with a guy you know that ended up hurting them or misaligned. Whenever they are after the relationship, they're like, yeah, I ignored so many signs, I ignored so many moments where my intuition said this isn't the guy, this isn't right, whatever.

Speaker 1: 13:13

But because of this lack of men that are elevating to our level, we've turned that off in ourselves because we desire love so deeply and we should never be turning that off in ourselves yeah, yeah, I think also with just all of the information online, I think a lot of people can get in their head about, like, how they should show up, how they should act on a date, how they should, how many times they should give a man a you know a chance, or if a man does one thing wrong, then should I ditch him? Like, and I'm just realizing, like, over and over and over again, like just be yourself. Like if you can really just be yourself and like, love yourself like I it's always coming back to this because it's just the truth. Like that's when you are going to attract the person that is meant for you. Like that divine partnership is. Like when you are in your power, when you're focusing on yourself. Like when you love yourself so deeply that, like you will no longer allow people who are not up to your standards in Like, because I feel like so many people are like I need to act like this way or I need to act super feminine, but it's like about being feminine, not acting feminine, but like feeling feminine in your energy right, or maybe masculine if you need to.

Speaker 1: 14:36

Like I know I've been in that too of like you know, looking online, like seeing how I should act, or like what's going to make this person like be more attracted, attracted to me, like almost, like in this, like manipulative way, low-key, but that's inauthentic. And like, in the end, like whether it is subconscious, like people are going to feel that and there's not going to be like a connection in the end, right, or like they're not going to actually see the real you. And that's why I just like keep driving towards like authenticity, like being fun, like being funny, like showing the side of myself that my friends see, or like you know, leading with love. And if, like, you're leading with love and someone's like, oh, like whoa, you're like too, whatever, like lovey dovey, or like, oh, you're too nice or something like that person is not for you, like, I just feel like being in that fullest embodiment and expression of yourself is really important when it comes to dating, because you're going to attract that person. And I'm saying this because, like this is what I'm feeling in my own life is like, how can I lean into my authenticity, say things when I'm in a public place that feel really authentic, to make genuine connections, rather than like, oh, I'm going to drop the handkerchief and like tell this guy, I like his shirt because I want him to talk to me Like no, just like genuinely saying to someone like, oh, I love your, like your vibe feels really good to me, like what's your name, if that feels authentic.

Speaker 1: 15:54

You know, I think so many people are just really forcing it because we have a timeline which I get. We're trying to control the situation, but the controlling is never going to work. It's never going to work. I'm tired, I'm tired, I know.

Speaker 2: 16:14

I mean, I just really I'm. Obviously I'm about to get married. I feel like very, very, very happy and at peace in my union and my partnership, but I still feel fired up, like for my friends, for women at large, like just because I don't want people to have to settle, I don't want people to feel like they can't have what they desire, you know, or that they have to accept someone that's not meeting their needs, someone that's not giving them the love that they know, that they need, just to have a partner. You know it, it doesn't have to be that way.

Speaker 2: 16:58

But I also think that a big part of why we do this is because there is such an internal fear that so many of us have of being alone and that there is nothing worse in the world than being alone. And it's like that is just a story that someone told us once, you know, and we've perpetuated that story because, yes, as human beings, of course we desire connection, right, but like, and of course we desire a partnership and like we are largely a monogamous society, you know, and like that it makes sense that we desire all of these things. But there is also so much beauty and independence and power and creation and sovereignty, in being in union with yourself, you know. So that also is a big part of it, that it's like you know that's why people are looking up. Oh, how do I get a guy attracted to me on TikTok, how do I, you know the handkerchief thing? Or settling for guys that you know they know that are not within their realm, that are not giving them what they need, because it's like if I'm alone, I'm failing.

Speaker 1: 18:15

Yeah, and at the same time and at the same time just like want to acknowledge that. Like, yeah, it is sad sometimes. I definitely feel sad sometimes that I'm alone, and I think a lot of women do. I have a lot of single friends that are in their 30s and they're like just to open that conversation like why hasn't it happened for me? I think a lot of I'm sure people listening will resonate with that and like it can be sad and it is hard to be in those moments of like why haven't I found my person yet? Like what is it about me?

Speaker 1: 18:58

You know, it's easy to question that maybe something's wrong with you or maybe you're doing something wrong or maybe you're not doing enough.

Speaker 1: 19:04

And I just want to acknowledge that, because it is hard living a life alone when you see all these other people in relationships, building families and just know that if you are in that space, like you're not alone and being able to continue to like trust your intuition, call on God, call on your friends to support you. When you are feeling those moments of sadness and being in it, it's okay to feel sad too that you don't have that aligned partnership yet. I just am trying to give some sort of support there to express that, if it's meant for you, like it will come, and like that's what I tell myself too. Like it's coming, it's coming, like I promise I know it's coming and I bet you, if you're listening to this, you're resonating with this, like you know it's coming too. So just like trust in that that, like God has a plan for you and like it's going to be better than you could ever imagine I know we talked about that Like it's better.

Speaker 2: 20:13

Like imagine a love that's worth waiting for Goosebumps that was so beautiful. I acknowledge the realness of feeling ready to have a partner, or that deep desire to have a partner and not having it. I completely understand that. I felt that in my younger life. I felt that in my life when I was between a breakup with my fiance. Like I get it. I, I feel like that feeling is so resonant with with past versions of me. At the same time, it's also not worth being in a relationship with a misaligned partner to fill that.

Speaker 2: 21:10

Yeah, and I think that's a piece that many women right now are missing as well, because it's like I want this so bad, so I'm going to turn a blind eye to these things that aren't working for me. Yeah, so I'm going to turn a blind eye to these things that aren't working for me. Yeah, and an unhappy, volatile relationship will never make you happier than standing in your power alone, you know. But it's hard to like compute that in the moment, because you're so trapped in that relationship. That in the moment, because you're so trapped in that relationship and I don't mean trapped, like you know, it's an abusive relationship necessarily but like yeah, we mentally trap ourselves in things you know, and I think that that's where a lot of women are getting disempowered, and it's also important and the message that I want to send to people is that you don't need anyone else other than yourself to be whole, complete and an incredible person in this world.

Speaker 2: 22:16

You don't need to seek outside of yourself or say I have this partner and now I'm better Like. You. Don't have to have that to be the fullest, most powerful expression of you. And when you do have it, it should amplify the fullest, most pure, most incredible, most magical expression of you, not dull it. And when it starts to become dulled is when you have to start asking yourself is this aligned with the path that I desire to live?

Speaker 1: 22:56

Yeah, yeah, it should be. Yeah, that overflow. It's like your cup, like what we need to work on, you know, as single women right now who are struggling in dating, is getting our cup full, like getting our cup as full as we can so that way, when we do meet an aligned partner, that there's just overflow, right, then we have two cups just fully overflowing and things that you can do is like fall in love with yourself, enjoy the time that you have alone, pick up new hobbies, like enjoy how much alone time you have right now, because one day you're not going to have this right, you're going to be spending half of your time with your partner or whatever Like, and this is such a beautiful time to cherish and to fall in love with the process of your life and your experience and to love yourself and to practice like creating this life of love and abundance, because that, like being in that energy, is going to be what attracts that person into your life. When you are just like an amazing person living the best life possible, that is going to be magnetic energy, naturally, to attract people who want to be, who are an energy match and who want to be in that space as well with you.

Speaker 1: 24:14

But I love that concept. It's like we can't. So many times people expect a relationship to make them full, to fill up their cup, to bring them that happiness, but like that's not a stable relationship because then you're now relying on someone for your other, your happiness when you can fully be happy on your own, create this full life with community and friendships and hobbies and good health and all these things. Like you're setting yourself up to be in a more healthy, successful relationship with someone who's a match to that. So, yeah, I think like that's where the focus should go is like, instead of seeing what's going bad in relationships, I'm dating all these shitty men. Like how can I just focus on living the best life possible?

Speaker 2: 24:56

and like being the most like, happiest, like loving version of myself, and like see where that takes me and like just spreading love to other people, like without expectation, but also, of course, protecting yourself too, not allowing people to push you around of course, and to my spiritual girls out there that are all listening to this right now do not let a spiritual connection that you have with someone drive your relationship to the point where you forget what the human experience is bringing you, because and this is coming from someone who thinks that I have lived multiple past lives with my partner I totally believe in past life experiences with people, soulmates, but I don't think that that should come at the expense of showing up in the way that your human self needs in this lifetime, at this moment, because I think that a lot of spiritual women are making sacrifices based on that, and it's important to remember that you deserve someone that can show up in every way that you need.

Speaker 2: 26:26

And that's not saying that you should have the perfect partner. You know some Disney prince vibe but you definitely need someone who can fulfill your needs, fulfill your desires spiritually and physically in this world. You know so I see a lot of women going through that and I just you know. I think that it's incredible that we have such a trust spiritually, while also like using discernment within that.

Speaker 1: 27:04

Something else that's coming up is like I think also like I don't want to say that people have too high of standards, but like there also is an opportunity to look at like where maybe have you been too rigid in the past? Like you know me wanting a six four guy, like, okay, I can budge on that a bit. Are we coming?

Speaker 2: 27:25

around.

Speaker 1: 27:29

You're like I'm down to 6'3 okay well, I recently dated a guy who said he was six foot and then I called him on and he said well, I'm actually five foot eleven and three quarters and okay, and it made me realize that like I was still attracted to him even though he was under six foot technically. So like, maybe there are things that you know, you think like I need this sarah's been trying to convince me for years. The date of short king and you guys have heard it on the podcast too she means like six one I'm like you know, maybe there are some things that you know.

Speaker 1: 28:12

Or also like giving people a chance. I think, like, if you are using the apps for a tool, like maybe not you know, saying swiping left on someone if they are under six foot, or like you know, maybe if they, like aren't like the perfect dresser, you know you can always change style I feel like thinking and returning back to like values, like is this person close with their family? Like are they funny and light-hearted? Are they, you know, nice to other people? Like a lot of, of course, don't settle right. We want to be attracted to someone, but a lot of times we write people off really too quickly. So I think that there's also an opportunity to say, like give some people a chance. Like you never know, like energetically, like how you're gonna feel in person with somebody, so maybe there's an opportunity to widen your yeah you're like, yeah, why, why didn't your aperture?

Speaker 2: 29:05

Yeah, I agree, I agree, and you know, no matter where you are right now in your relationship life, I think the overall message of this is to prioritize yourself, prioritize your needs prioritize giving you the love that you need to be the best partner that you can be.

Speaker 2: 29:28

Give yourself. You know the love. Give others love when they deserve love, because I think there are a lot of people that you know, know are getting maybe more than they actually deserve men is what I mean by people, um, from women, because of all of the things that we've talked about, you know. So it's just really about getting getting back to yourself, getting back to who you are, what you need, what you deserve, how valuable you, how worthy you are, and standing in that power and not letting anyone man, co-worker, boss, friend, mother, father, sister, brother, whatever sway that for you, because you know your value, you know who you are, you know your purpose and the contribution that you're offering to our world, and no one should ever be able to sway you in that.

Speaker 1: 30:34

Yes, imagine you are the best roller coaster at the carnival at the Six Flags. You're the coolest roller coaster, you have the best ride, you have the best seats, you look the you do, you're the funnest. People are going to be lining up to get on that ride, okay, so focus on being the best version of yourself and, like people will be naturally attracted to that energy, and just focus on loving you, loving you, loving you.

Speaker 2: 31:05

We love you. We love you. This is a spurn to a Love yourself. Okay, queens, thank you for listening. Go check out more of our episodes. If you are resonating with this message, share this with a friend, someone Maybe you need to to like. Give one of your sisters a little bit of like, a hey girl. You need some of these messages right now. Send her this episode, share the love and we'll be back with you soon. Bye.