Ever been left wondering after a date that just... ended? Ghosting isn't just a dating faux pas—it's an emotional conundrum that many of us have faced or, let's be real, even committed (whoops!!!)
Hannah and I crack open our dating diaries, revealing not just the hilariously awkward moments when we've ghosted or been ghosted, but also the deeper lessons learned about honesty and self-respect in the world of modern romance.
You're in for a rollercoaster of stories, from tragic interruptions to dates to laughable self-reflections, as we dig into the ghosting phenomenon with a blend of humor and earnestness.
But wait, there's more than just spectral lovers! We're also spotting the RED HOT FLAGS waving in the early stages of love (or like).
Tune in to hear us banter about the buzzkills and bores of dating—think negative, self-obsessed conversationalists, and the sticky situation of who should really pay for dinner.
From decoding social media behaviors to navigating the perplexing etiquette of early romantic encounters, Hannah and I lay it all out, providing you with an arsenal of insights to dodge those relationship landmines.
So, gear up for a candid session that's equal parts storytelling and sage advice, because we're not just sharing anecdotes—we're building your dating smarts.
https://www.mindfully-moody.com/
Free resource on How to heal your self doubt here
Ever been left wondering after a date that just... ended? Ghosting isn't just a dating faux pas—it's an emotional conundrum that many of us have faced or, let's be real, even committed (whoops!!!)
Hannah and I crack open our dating diaries, revealing not just the hilariously awkward moments when we've ghosted or been ghosted, but also the deeper lessons learned about honesty and self-respect in the world of modern romance.
You're in for a rollercoaster of stories, from tragic interruptions to dates to laughable self-reflections, as we dig into the ghosting phenomenon with a blend of humor and earnestness.
But wait, there's more than just spectral lovers! We're also spotting the RED HOT FLAGS waving in the early stages of love (or like).
Tune in to hear us banter about the buzzkills and bores of dating—think negative, self-obsessed conversationalists, and the sticky situation of who should really pay for dinner.
From decoding social media behaviors to navigating the perplexing etiquette of early romantic encounters, Hannah and I lay it all out, providing you with an arsenal of insights to dodge those relationship landmines.
So, gear up for a candid session that's equal parts storytelling and sage advice, because we're not just sharing anecdotes—we're building your dating smarts.
https://www.mindfully-moody.com/
Free resource on How to heal your self doubt here
What is up, people? Welcome to our podcast, mindfully Moody, a place where we have authentic conversations about spirituality, self-growth, the shit that we're dealing with, our just realness. I'm Sarah, I'm here with my best friend, my co-host, hannah, and let's get into it. What's going on? What are we talking about today? What's the vibe?
Speaker 2:We are getting into the juice today and we're going to be talking about ghosting and red flags in dating. We're really on the dating stuff and I like it because it's very relevant in my life, so thank you for appeasing me and going through this entertaining conversation of talking about dating. This was sparked because I was on a date with somebody and he has his own podcast and he was talking about him and his co-host doing an episode on dating and ghosting and then we were talking about have you ever been ghosted? Have you ever ghosted anyone? I wanted to just start off with this juicy conversation. I was talking about Sarah. Have you ever ghosted?
Speaker 1:somebody. All right, let's go back in the archives, back in the brain archives. Have I ever ghosted someone? I think I've ghosted, definitely not. I think I definitely have ghosted people that I've only been on a couple dates with or one date with. Actually, I'm thinking of someone and now I'm like what is even? No, let me, I just remembered his name, but that's not. Even. Not that he listens to the podcast, but the guy that we saw on a date at Palm House in San Francisco. I definitely ghosted that guy.
Speaker 2:Okay, and how long did you want to have one date with him, right, or was it? Was it one? I think we went on two dates. Okay, we went on two dates. I guess what are our general thoughts on ghosting? You know like, is it ever okay to ghost? Are there? I feel like there's different situations and scenarios where I feel like ghosting is warranted.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I, because, shit, I've definitely been ghosted, and I think that it totally depends on the situation. Like in most situations, I would say that it is not okay to go someone because it just feels like really inauthentic to me, which I don't think is an, you know, alignment with how I want to live my life. However, if there was like a very awkward, uncomfortable situation, or like you really really got the ick, or like you feel like they really got the ick, I don't know, sometimes I think it might be okay. What do you think?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I agree For the most part. It's like now, like at the age I'm at, like I don't think it's cool to ghost, but I feel like there is like an adjacent ghost situation, which I will go over in a few minutes. But like I was the same like back in the day, back in my day Five years ago, yeah, but like no, like back when we were dating in San Francisco and stuff. Like I feel like if I went out with someone who I was just like maybe not attracted to or like didn't feel the vibes or like was awkward, and then they like messaged me back, messaged me and like asked me out on another date, like maybe I would have ghosted because I didn't want to confront the situation and like hurt the person's feelings, like really being in that, like people pleaser, like oh no, it's just like better for me not to say anything than like confront this awkward situation of telling them that I'm not actually interested in them. So I feel like that's what like it took over the years now of like when I go on dates with people like and to not go stand, because I know it doesn't feel good to get ghosted, but to be able to like own right, like what you want and not just leave someone hanging if someone asked you on another date and you're not interested being like.
Speaker 2:You know, I think you're a great person, I had a good time with you, but I just am not seeing like the alignment or giving a reason you know of why, rather than just ghosting Cause I feel like ghosting. It's kind of like that person could really be like what the fuck? Like what did I do? Like, and they could be probably stirring and being like do they not like me? All this stuff, and it's like a lot of times it's just misalignment when it comes to ghosting. So it's like you can just be straight up and forward with like what it, what it was. You don't have to give the details right, like whether whether you weren't attracted to them or whatever, like if you just weren't feeling the vibes, just tell that and that way they're like okay, cool, like now I can move on and not have to like continue to wonder like what happened to that person, because that's kind of sad and I've been on that side too. Like you're like what the fuck?
Speaker 1:I'm thinking of a situation right now where I was ghosted, actually for like a legit reason. So what's coming to me right now, too, is like, if you are the one on the receiving end of getting ghosted, we can get in our heads and be like, oh my God, this person doesn't like me, they were turned off by me, blah, blah, blah, blah, all of these things. You know what I mean, but in reality, like it may actually have nothing to do with you. Like I remember when I was ghosted by this guy that I was dating in Florida, like after college, and then we actually ended up working at the same place after call or well, like literally after we dated, and then actually he ended up moving the what the hell, right.
Speaker 1:But like he had had like a literal tragedy Happened in his life a parent died, like in the beginning of us dating. Like we had one on a few dates and like he took me out for Valentine's Day and Then he had like this terrible thing happen in his life and like here I was for like literally months Thinking that I did something wrong or whatever. Because this is back. I was like 22 at the time. You know, I'm in my head and yeah, I'm thinking that you know I'm not worth shit at that time in my life. So you know my point being to say this like you never even know why someone is ghosting you, 100%.
Speaker 2:I love that you brought up that situation. I'm gonna give a real-time dating Approaching in public situation because it reminded, reminds me of that. Yesterday I was at the dog park and my dream came through. I was having a conversation with a guy and a guy like was like, are you single? And I I wasn't, like I was vibing with him, but like I wasn't necessarily like attracted to him. But he's like are you single? And then I was like, oh Cuz, like in my mind I'm like I don't really know if I want to go out with this guy. I feel like I need decision. And that was like gonna lie about being single or something. And I was like, um, yeah, it was a really awkward encounter. And he's like, oh no, like there was hesitation there, like that's okay, I'm like, yeah, I'll see you around. And in my head I'm like, like, and that was just me, like I. Now I like look back and I'm like, damn, I should have been like, yeah, I'm single, like, go ahead, take my number. And this was a lesson for me of like, just like confidence.
Speaker 2:I was just so caught off guard, yeah, when that happened, because we were just talking about random stuff. And then he's all of a sudden like, oh, you're single. But in his head, like how that situation went was probably like she's not attracted to me, like she's not interested in me, like all of these things. But it in actual reality, like I just got nervous and I was caught off guard and I like didn't know like what I want my answer. I really didn't know I was attracted to him, so I guess, but like still like he in his mind could be like, oh, she was like definitely not. After I was like damn, like I could have went out with what. I went out with him and like explored it or whatever. So catch him.
Speaker 1:You never know me sometime I know, listen, if he's meant to be, he'll come back in the energy field. You know it'll, it'll swing back around.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, so that was just a real life. Love, love that situation, calling it in, calling it in more. Now I'm just practicing.
Speaker 1:Okay, what's coming to my mind right now about ghosting, too, is like what if someone does something that offends you? Like, let's say that you're like on a date with someone and like they say something that like either is offensive to you or like Someone that you love, or like you know it could be like a topic or something that you find like offensive, like you're super on an opposite opinion of, or like you know you go on a date, just throwing a lot of scenarios out there. But like you go on the date someone takes you out to dinner and like he treats the waiter like shit yeah, you know. And you're like, oh my god, I am so turned off by this person. Like how fucking dare they? Yeah, and like what do you need to like reprimand this person for their behavior? You've been on one or two dates with them. Like I'm feeling like no, ghost them. Mmm, you think so you think so?
Speaker 2:for me I guess it's like one Do you say it in the situation Like oh damn, like I thought that that's a little bit of an awkward. That's a little bit of an awkward Thing. I think to like call that out in the moment, but I think if it was something that was a huge turnoff, like huge misalignment and values, and somebody Did message me like hey, had a great time, would love to take you out again, like I would probably say like to be honest, like it was a huge turnoff how you treated the waiter, and like I'm not really interested in someone who you know does that, and but I wish you the best of luck read them to, phil thought I'm now yeah, no, that's really mature, you know.
Speaker 1:Like that's that's really mature. I feel like, but I just feel like people need to do Whatever is right for them, right, you know, like, if you feel like I cannot confront this person or I like I do not want to have another engagement with this person, like don't put too much, like, oh, I owe them this, whatever it's, like we're all responsible for ourselves. Okay, yeah, yeah, that's true, you know, and if they get on being super offended or whatever by you not responding to them, like, you know that's on them that's not okay.
Speaker 2:The real kicker is the mutual ghost when you both are like I just really I'm good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like you just go on a date and like you're both just like. Next, I this is the. This is the hard thing about ghosting. Because I Feel like in dating, like right now, I am in this energy of like wanting to be in my feminine and wanting the man to lead and like the man Initiating the dates and like all of that and so like, if a guy isn't coming correct and coming and reaching out to me and planning dates, like I'm not going to chase after him.
Speaker 2:I think it is the woman's responsibility to like, when you are in those texting conversations, like after a date, to be like hey, I like loved, you know going to dinner with you, it was really great getting to know you. Like would love to see you again Drop the handkerchief and then, if they're like yeah, like we'd love to see you again, and then nothing else, it's like it's that's when I feel like it gets like muddy waters, like I'm not gonna follow up with you, and be like okay, so when are we going on the date right, and like be in the masculine energy. And this situation happened with someone I was dating with where it wasn't like a mutual ghost, but it was like he didn't pursue, continue pursuing me, even though I initiated that. I was interested and wanted it and I was like I'm not gonna put my energy into that. So it's like technically I did ghost him, but like it was kind of like a you know, maybe like more of both, kind of Clearly not not looking at the same thing.
Speaker 1:Well, and, like you know, I think that red flags can be defined as different things. I don't think it has to be like, oh, you see this about this person. This means they're a bad person, but like more like red flag on the connection that you have with the person. Like that's a red flag to me, like if I'm dropping that, I'm interested in you and there's some sort of mutual like something, and now you're not picking up on that and like starting the ball rolling, keeping the ball rolling like Gotta go, you gotta go, I'm not interested, I'm not interested.
Speaker 1:Red flag I agree.
Speaker 2:Let's get, let's just get right into the red flags, then that was a great transition. What? What are some red like hard red flags, like? If this guy does this, I'm out mmm. Hypothetically speaking, of course, I know, let me let me get into this.
Speaker 1:Let me get into this, okay, wow, like what is coming to my mind right away, I'm gonna say someone that's very negative, like just, I'm going to like behavior of, like philosophy of how you live your life is where my mind like Spending time with someone and like you're negative, you're hating on other people, you're pessimistic, always going for the worst case scenario, hating on like the world. You know what I mean. Like yeah, life's just fucking miserable, and here I am with it. You know cuz. Like that is a person, that is a personality type. You know.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's like a turn off and not.
Speaker 1:that is like big red flag for me, because if you can't even lift yourself up, how the hell are you gonna lift me up? We're just going down, it's down. Oh Like this vibe is not going good yeah so that's for energy.
Speaker 2:bad, yeah, bad bad energy. What about you? Okay, someone who just like talks about themselves the whole time and like doesn't ask you any questions, or also with texting, we were just like telling you all about them, and it's like they never even say, like how was your day? Or it's just giving narcissists, all about them.
Speaker 1:Yes, oh, my god, there's nothing worse than like being on a date, you know, and you're like feel like you have like a 20 questions freaking, like, no cards in front of you. So like, do you have any siblings? Oh, did you have any pets growing up? Like, what do you like to do for fun? And they're like, oh, yeah, you know, I've got two sisters. Yeah, I had a dog.
Speaker 2:Don't you want to know that? What my childhoods dog name? It's weird, and I think that some people can go on dates and like get nervous and then they just want to resort to questions, but like that's why you can practice presence on a date. Like put your hands on your lab, take a deep breath after you they answer and like Maybe we wait. We wait for that man to ask. I was thinking this I'm like I always have a good time on my dates what usually I do but I feel like the guys always have a good time because I'm like I'm over here, of course, asking every question, like you're good to talk, you get to shine, I'm complimenting you, I'm rooting you like, rooting for you. Like, of course, you're having a good time on this date because you're Talking about yourself and telling you I'm a right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like, why am I putting myself in a position of like being your fucking fan, you know? Like can we get like some mutual shit going? And I'm gonna say instant red flag too. I mean, this was like Hard red flag for me back in the day when I was dating too, and I will stand on this. Hit us in the comments, disagree with us. The man 100% needs to be paying for the multiple dates in the beginning. Otherwise that's a big red flag to me. I think, when you think about Women and just the difference in energy and how we receive and how men Give, like if you can't even pay for the day. I'm not saying you got to be taking me to a two Michelin star tasting menu, okay, but like you need to be picking up coffee, you need to be picking up drinks, you need to be picking up dinner For a period of time. Until now, you have made me feel like I want to give my investment To pay for something. I agree.
Speaker 2:I, I agree, I'm with you.
Speaker 1:Like my husband is not asking me to slit the check on date three. Like no, it's just not.
Speaker 2:No, it's not for me. And on top of this, a little dating advice that I feel is nice. So let me know what you think about this. Like do you think that the girl should offer, because I think it can be a nice thing, like if they accept well, that's just going back to the black. But like I think it shows this sense, like I was just on a date with a guy and like immediately he's playing on his car, he's paying, and I'm like, you know, like I forget what I said. It was like Do you want to split it or something he's like, oh, like for sure, no, you know. And I think it just shows. Like it's like if girls just sit back I know some people are like girl, just sit back, put some lip gloss on and blah, blah. It just almost gives this entitled feeling, I don't know. I think that offering shows a sense of appreciation, but if they accept it it's kind of honestly, won't even Manipulate over something.
Speaker 1:but like it's like a little test, it's a mini.
Speaker 2:It's a test. What are you gonna do I?
Speaker 1:Don't know. I go back and forth on this. I've taken both approaches when I was dating, I've sat back and let them pay, I've offered. I've had guys accept it, I've had them decline it. You know, it's kind of like I Feel like there's not a one-size-fits-all rule for this.
Speaker 2:I feel like it's like what's the vibe or what feels good for you and for what feels good is to offer for me like just to sit back. That just doesn't. That feels like I'm acting like someone else and I don't like that.
Speaker 1:Like Okay instant red flag though, too. Like okay, you offering is one thing, them asking jail. Like you're getting locked to the grave. I, I, I, love me able to literally not care so much about what someone thinks. I could actually Just say whatever I want to say to someone that I know, follows me on social media, that I dated. But someone that I dated in my past you remember this because it was I mean, it wasn't that long ago pre me, obviously, and Reza being back together and engaged but Invited me out for dinner on probably date four Okay, this should have been an instant red flag Invites me out for dinner on date four.
Speaker 1:Says I want to take you to this restaurant, whole big thing. Chooses the restaurant, picks me up all this, you know whole big vibe. Okay, get to the restaurant. He's ordering away. Okay, we're ordering a whole brand. You know we're ordering apps, we're ordering sides. We might even had two bottles of wine, like it was, like he and he was leading all of the ordering. We get the bill and he literally looks at me and says do you want to split it? Jail, jail, like literally jail, like no, I don't want to split it. You invited me here, you invited me on this date. Don't you think that's wrong?
Speaker 2:I think that's another thing too. If guys, especially if they tell you they want to take you out, like if they invite you now, if you're the girl asking a guy out and inviting him out to dinner, like Then what, what if you are not gonna die out, okay, just don't. Just don't get yourself in that situation.
Speaker 1:Like I did in my past, and I think that that got me seeing guys that were not that interested in me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like, if you have to pursue them.
Speaker 1:They're not a red flag. Add it to the list, like if you are asking them to go to dinner, they're just not that into you. If you want to, he would, yeah, period period, you know. But like there I was red flag, here's another red flag. You think, well, this is a red flag on yourself. You thinking, oh, I'm gonna change this. Like I should have known. I know that it's maybe little, whatever, it's not little though. The no paying thing on the date for like I could have just saved myself, you know, some months of annoyance by just cutting that off right there, like misaligned, because you know what that is to me. You misled me, mmm, you misled me. It's way deeper than money to me. You know, yes, like there's some sort of like misalignment there. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Girls make and pay. Okay, I'm going to say one. That's not necessarily a red flag, but it's an egg, it's giving pink flag and it's when you're first starting to date we could do an episode on eggs to, because I got a lot to my your first starting today sends you a selfie. I got like three selfies and I'm like, and they like, weren't it either? And it's like, why are you sending me a selfie? The fact that I see I can envision you like at your job taking a photo and taking a selfie, and like Cheezing. And then like, send me to me, like, oh, I think she would really like to see, like that's giving me the egg. Like, okay, maybe if we're like dating, like whatever, I would love to see a selfie. If I like you, or dating, or exclusive, I would love to see what you're doing on a day. Or if I ask you for a selfie, I I did recently ask someone to send me a picture of them on like the ski trip, which I think is totally fine.
Speaker 1:I'm asking for it, but you're not. She's dating a skier. What's going on there?
Speaker 2:We'll give you the tea offline, but only if I ask you, shall you sell sense, do not send the unsolicited selfies, right?
Speaker 1:Okay, this is actually hilarious to me because resa 100%.
Speaker 2:I.
Speaker 1:Know, but it's also like if you really liked the person, maybe you wouldn't feel that way. Maybe it's like you know, I don't know, no, I feel you, I get it, I get it like. It's like why you sending me a selfie along with like doing that, you know, just got off the bus to go to work, you know, like the like, really like small life updates, like okay, well, I've known you for 72 hours, I don't really care that one sends me.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, like telling me things that like I don't even care about. Okay, how about you ask me on a date? Don't tell me like what you, when your coworkers are eating for lunch like I don't exactly Not interested not interested, maybe later on, but like, let's develop a relationship first Before you're giving me all this.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's really summed up with like a red flag is like why are you not Try, like, if he's not trying to court you and I don't mean you have to go back to old-school courting ways but like don't, don't be doing boyfriend shit on, you know, random guy that I'm dating type of energy you know like that Don't, don't do all these things that like I'm not really that interested in. Like you should be focused on if you're really interested in me, like getting to know me, getting to pursue me versus like just dropping random updates about your life. Stop ask me how I am Good, I'm good.
Speaker 2:Literally like, okay, I could go on, I was just gonna pull up some DMs. Okay, another red flag a guy who invites you to his house like literally the first, second or maybe even third date, but like definitely first date, like that's a red flag all you want.
Speaker 2:It's a red flag if you are looking for, like, a committed partner. They want to hook up. They don't really care about taking on date, they just want to get to the business. So red flag there Don't do it. Do not go to a guy's house if you want to commit a relationship on the first date 100% and you know if he's asking you and like we get it, okay we get it.
Speaker 1:You know chemistry's going energies, right, you're feeling each other or whatever. Like Don't do it, don't do it, just don't do it, you know or do it do it, do it or do it, but like I Don't know, I just feel like, if, especially okay, how about? How about the date? This is from back in the day for me, the date, first date being at their house. No, literally, just like you're like extreme red flag I do. You want to come over? I'll make you dinner like date one.
Speaker 2:No, not.
Speaker 1:No, been there, been there, yeah, and guess what. Never got me anywhere. Like did I go to Reza's house and that's, that's like younger years, like that's younger years and you know what I wasn't. I Made a lot of mistakes back then, even though we ended up together.
Speaker 2:You know, if I could go back, oh, I feel like I have so many. I have more that I want to go over.
Speaker 1:Do you have a word? Hit, hit me with it. Well, yeah, what else do I have? Okay, I'm gonna say having any, any attitude with someone that you're introducing them to, other than like complete kindness and like generosity, basically, or like just Positivity? You know, like if you're like dating a guy and now you're gonna introduce him to your friends, or like to your, to your Parents, to your co-workers, like he goes with you Whatever, like he better be freaking on and he better be on and he better be showing up and being nice, and you know, and if he's not red flag, that's a big red flag to me. I feel like you, like you don't have to like be all up in people's business. You know like some guys will be like super, super communicative and friendly and whatever. You don't have to go all the way, but like you got to give a bare minimum. You know, I agree.
Speaker 2:I agree. It's like this basic social, like Emotional intelligence, like exactly nice, be interested, be engaging, like I shouldn't have to tell you that be normal.
Speaker 1:That's it. Be normal, be normal yes.
Speaker 2:Okay, big, big, big red flag that I had to learn. The real hard way is Like guys on social media. If they're following like a bunch of like girl, like naked girls, like Instagram baddies, like all of in their comments, liking stuff, like, just like being grimy on social media. I don't want it.
Speaker 2:That's like bad, bad. I don't even want someone like and I want a guy who's going to like. Totally Respect that. You know there's some guys that aren't even on social media. I don't care if they're on social media, but like, if you're following a bunch of like girls like that, it's like I'm. We're probably not the perfect match.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because it's like what are you? What are you interested in consuming? What kind of like content Do you want to see you? Know, in the world and we don't have to be, you know, toe for toe on everything. But yeah, if you're going too far into that, and, oh my god, if you're in the comments, if you're like interacting like in the DMs.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, I'm in the stories like, no, no, like, don't even have a hard eyes.
Speaker 1:Yeah post very rarely post very rarely, like you need to be light on so light on social media.
Speaker 2:Coming from someone who literally pretty much does social media at this point, like if there's a guy that's like posting selfies every day. I also don't want that. Is that wrong of me?
Speaker 1:No, it depends on like. What is their career? Like are they? Are they like? Getting you know? Like are they like? Is that some way of promoting themselves? Yeah, could be like money somehow Sure entrepreneurial yeah but like just trying to smile at the world, just trying to be positive, hell, no, get out of here.
Speaker 2:No, because that's not what it is.
Speaker 1:It's just trying to get validation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah yeah, that's.
Speaker 1:That's another one for me seeking validation in other people. Period, red flag, red flag. I don't like that. I don't like to me. Like such a sexy quality in a guy is not giving a fuck what other people think, like not caring about you know just other people's opinions. You know because then, like you're getting in on that, like I'm just I'm turned off. You know, like why are you so in on what other people think? Or like you want to like stand out in comparison to other people, or like, yeah, it's giving wound, I'm not.
Speaker 1:I'm not, yeah, it's giving perfect, it's giving wounded. I'm not feeling that. No, it's a no for me.
Speaker 2:Here we are mixing spirituality and drama. Red flags. Okay, another one, and this is just for where I currently am in my life, because, like, we're all going to have different red flags depending on where we are right and what we're looking for. But like someone who goes out every single weekend, like in the club, and like partying, getting drunk, like obviously, like don't even want to see my partner drunk, I mean maybe, like you know, every once in a while, but like, if you're getting drunk Special occasion, special occasion If you're getting drunk every single weekend like plaster, like that is such a turnoff. If you're in the club, like what are you getting looking for in the club? You're looking for girls. It's like I'm not interested If that's, if that's what your free time that you like to do, is just like get fucked up. Red flag for me.
Speaker 1:No, like if you are running around, like you know, at 31 on Polk Street in San. Francisco or Rainy or like you know. Let's regionalize this like in Venice, like you know. No, it's going to be a no for me, absolutely fucking not. No.
Speaker 2:No, you should be at home watching a movie and cooking a nice dinner, maybe having a nice glass of wine, like that's what my man's on.
Speaker 1:And I'm going to take it even farther than that.
Speaker 2:And they say like, take us to it.
Speaker 1:If you, if you are getting drunk with your friends regularly major red flag for me. I don't care if it's at the club or it's at the golf course or it's at the brewery or wherever Like. If you are going out with your boys and you've, every time you're going out, you're coming home, you're drunk, whatever I mean. A lot of guys do this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a lot of guys Saturdays are for the boys.
Speaker 1:A lot of men do this. I mean like my dad and his friends, I know.
Speaker 2:You know, very triggering for people to what I was saying. This but like Well.
Speaker 1:I mean sorry, it's our truth.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's just something that we don't want. Okay, it's like I act like you're single, you don't have that.
Speaker 1:But like no, and you know what I love that. I love that, yeah, it causes problems. Like I don't want you to be out drunk, existing in the world. Like you know, you're gonna be making bad decisions, bad decisions that include a lot of things you could be driving, you could be harming yourself, harming other people, cheating on me. Do you know all of these things that you do when you're out under the influence? And like, I'm not trying to say people need to be paranoid that all these bad things are gonna happen if your partner's out drunk but like for me, no, if you are to, if you have a love affair with alcohol you know, red flag.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, yeah. And then it's just like okay, you go out Saturday with the boys I hate the sound of that. And then now Sunday, we're supposed to go to the farmer's market and go get brunch and you're fucking hungover, you feel like shit, you're puking, you're sick, Like I don't wanna deal with that. I wanna go to the dog park. I wanna visualize our dream life and I wanna go have like a beautiful Sunday evening and like love each other.
Speaker 1:I don't even want you sleeping till 10. Like I don't even. No, no, it's just gonna be a no, you know it's like. The moral of the red flag ick ghosting story is that we are well as human beings. I'll say we are in search of people that are aligned with us and are living this desire to live the same kind of life. So that is the biggest red flag of all. If you are dating someone and they are not living the kind of life that you desire to live, red flag. Yeah, it could be drinking, it could be, you know, caring about what other people think. It could be being shallow obsessed with their looks. Oh, that's another one. Add it to the list. Red flag. Like, whatever it is, you know and you don't live that, you don't match that life. Like, what are you doing dating this person?
Speaker 2:Yep, and we get to decide. We get to decide what the red flags are, what we get to decide what kind of qualities we want in a partner, what values we want. And I feel like picking your partner is one of the most important decisions of your life. So think about it, think about what your non-negotiables are, think about what you really want and stick to those and the dating game girlies, because it's hard out there.
Speaker 1:We need to pull people on social media like what are other people's red flags?
Speaker 2:Now I'm very curious.
Speaker 1:We need to know. Please share with us what are your red flags?
Speaker 2:Let's pull it. I like this. I like this episode. We should do more fun ones like this.
Speaker 1:I know, I know, you know we're just listening, we're saying how we feel with no care about what the repercussions could be. So if you were triggered by this, sorry, not sorry. She's coming, she's coming straight with it, she's that much.
Speaker 2:She's that much. She's that All right. We love you guys, love y'all.
Speaker 1:Thanks for listening.
Speaker 2:We'll see you guys next time. Bye.